Parents Say the Darndest Things!

Over the last few months, Dan and I have found ourselves saying (out loud) the weirdest things. Of course, in the midst of the moment, everything makes perfect sense, but the phrases alone are hilarious!

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Lazarus was sticking his fuzzy in his nose one day in the Target check out line. I caught him doing this and said :

"Oh Lazzy, that's yucky. Put it in your ear."

It wasn't until I saw the look on the checker's face that I realized how stupid I must have sounded. She didn't know that fuzzies in his ear were a totally normal and regular thing in our family!

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Elijah was trying to have his cake and eat it too while getting dressed. I heard myself say:

"Drop the balloon and focus on your PANTS!"

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The boys have been punching themselves in the eye non-stop. Not sure when it began, but it's caught on like wild fire and I find myself saying things like this:

"Hey boys, please wait until after dinner to punch out your eye balls."

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Dan has been on a roll lately, too. Something about the third trimester makes him really funny.

While discussing the intricacies of a woman's body and childbirth, Dan says "i'm happy to be a man. lady work is HARD WORK!"
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We were looking at pictures of our friend's new baby girl. I got all excited about our baby girl coming soon and started chatting about it. "We're gonna have a little girl soon, too! Can you believe it? I'm getting really excited!"

Dan responded : "yeah, I know. I don't want to talk about it."

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Dan walks into the room, sees a baby carrier and says "wow, we have a baby coming! so you're serious about this pregnancy thing....."

He might need a little more time....

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Fighting

A year ago, I swear I couldn't take a sip of water without getting interrupted with screams, crying and bite marks all over my boys. They were enemies!! I don't know where the credit lies (I'd like to think it was me, but I know better than to pat myself on the back for parenting...) but suddenly, these two are besties! They start most days playing in their room, making plans and goofing off. Not only am I thankful the fights have lessened, but it's just in the nick of time! I need them to happily entertain each other while I tend to a tiny new human.

Lest you think our home is always peaceful and happy, I've got a hilarious "fight" to share with you.

The other day, I heard the boys growling, then yelling, then crying. Yup, a fight broke out and there was probably biting, hitting, wrestling, etc involved. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and yelled for them to come see me. They both sat at the top of the stairs, looking down with teary eyes.

Me : "So, sounds like something really frustrating happened. I want you to each confess to me what you did wrong."

Lazarus : "I not bite him, but I just break his car."

Elijah : "And that just made me so so angry! And I had no self control because my body was so angry and so my body pinched him really hard on his arm."

{Sure, blame it on your body...}

Lazarus : "Yeah, like this." and then he pinched himself really hard on his own arm, ha!

Me : "Wow, that sounds really sad. Sounds like y'all weren't very kind to each other."

Elijah : "Yeah, I repaid evil for evil."

They suddenly looked at each other and started apologizing, without any prompting from me! After they hugged, Elijah looked down at me and said happily 

"Mom! We just reconciliation-ed!!"

Yes, you did my boys. Yes, you did.

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Attitude

Elijah continues to give me such great material for this blog. There are so many things throughout the day that I forget, but sometimes I remember to write them down. Here are a few new ones for ya.

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We are driving home from an awesome play date which ended on a sour note (due to Elijah's attitude).

Elijah : "Mom, I just had such a sad day."

Me : "Awe, honey. I'm so sorry you feel that way." ( I was ready to explain to him that he actually had a wonderful day, but that he feels sad about how it ended...)

Elijah : "Mom, I'm not feeling that way. It's just how my day really was!"

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Lately, Elijah has been creating hilarious cut downs for when he's angry with us. He's practically name calling in his anger, but they are so funny, I have a hard time taking him seriously!

Here are some of my favorites (all said with an angry voice and scrunched up nose):

- Mr. One Man Show

- Mr. Stinky Pete

-Little Kicker

-Tickle Tootie Schmootie

-Funny Pants

Of course, we give him talks about name calling and how we just need to communicate frustration instead of stuffing it and acting out. BUT, we have to give him credit for his creativity!

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Super Heroes

According to Elijah, there are 4 steps to becoming a super hero. They are more like rules for super heroes. I think they're pretty awesome.

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Step # 1 : Super Heroes never fight good guys.

Step # 2 : Never say "you are going to be in jail" to the good guys.

Step # 3 : Never put heat vision on Batman or Wonder Woman.

Step # 4 : There's only 3 steps.

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"I am ice man! I shoot out ice."

silence

"But, I'm silver. It's not what you would imagine, okay?"

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"I'm Superman. My best bud is the Hulk. He's so cool. We're just friends and he looks out for me. He's bigger and stronger than me but that's okay. I'm not jealous 'cause I can fly, ha!"


{that face says it all!}

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Other random super hero phrases thrown around the house:

"Hulk Smash!"

"Take THAT bad guy...um...I forgot your name, bad guy."


"To In-fin bee-YA!"
(5 points if you can translate that!)

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Lazzy walks into my room completely naked with only a laundry basket on his head and says:

"I-I R-robot Man!"

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Elijah was adding numbers in the car.

Elijah : "Five plus five is TEN!"

Me : "Yeah, that's right Eli!"

Elijah : "Mom, I was just talking to myself. You don't have to encourage me."

O-Kay......

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Elijah : "Mom, let's play Captain Planet! We can all be planeteers with our rings and we can pretend it's the 90's because that was SO long ago, right?"

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Elijah : "Mom, my breath is bothering me."

Me : "Go brush your teeth babe."

Elijah : "Oh, yeah, that will fix it!"

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Elijah : "My birthday is May 21st, right mom?"

Me : "Um, it's May 29th."

Elijah : "How do you always remember??"

Me : "Oh babe, I'll never forget the day you were born."

Elijah : "That's 'cause it was SO AWESOME!"

Me : "And painful...."




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Eli : "You know who my best friend is? Amos. And Ezra."

Dan and I : "That's so sweet. They are great friends."

Eli : "And my brother, and you and my mom. And, well, just everybody is my best-est friends. Isn't that nice?"

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And now for some Lazzy phrases:

When he's annoyed with something (like trying to take his pants off but can't get his feet out) he'll say:
"Mama, this b-bugging to me."

The other day, Elijah was pestering his brother and Lazzy shouted
"Brover! G-get out m-my f-face!!!"

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Know it All

{Context : Elijah rarely drinks water. We have to push it on him all day long.}

Eli, first thing in the morning : "Mom, can I have some milk?"

Me : "Sure, but let's have a drink of water first. Remember how our bodies are actually made of part water? So we need to give ourselves a re-fill in the morning."

Elijah : "Yeah, so we don't diiiiiieeeeee."

Me to Dan : "Well, we've successfully taught Eli how to exaggerate."

Elijah : "No mom, HY-drate."

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Eli : "Mom, can we listen to the Rolling Stones?"

Me : "Sure. Let me find it on the computer."

I continue to find The Rolling Stones on Spotify, but every song I start is "wrong". 

Elijah : "Nope, that's not it. Nope, not the one. No mom, that's NOT the Rolling Stones."

Me : "Elijah, are you looking for a particular song??"

Elijah : "Yes, the one on Mr. Fantastic Fox."

I play "Street Fighter Man" and Elijah shouts out "Yeah, mom. THAT'S the Rollings Stones. You got it! I was right. See??? I was right! Now you know!"

I need to start teaching him the names of his favorite songs!

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Little phrases Elijah uses to let us know HE is right and WE are wrong:

"Nope. You didn't know it mom. I knowed it. That means I'm right."

"Sorry that you were wrong mom. But that's because I was right."

"I just know all the things, mom. I just do."

"Mom, sometimes you know the right things, and sometimes I know the right things. But you don't know ALLLLLLL of the things."

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Please tell me this is a stage and he'll grow out of it. We have successfully taught him how to say "Mom, that was what I was saying" instead of "told you so!" so I'm pretty proud of that....yeah. We have a long way to go, don't we?

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Random

"I know what I'm gonna be when I'm a mans!!! I'm gonna be a bird!" - Elijah

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"This smells like a wood pecker!" Elijah says after taking a big sniff of his vitamin water. It was pomegranate flavored.

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Elijah and I were playing with little nesting dolls. There was a doll for each person in our family and he pretended that the mommy doll had to go to work.

Mommy doll : "Bye bye! I have to go to work now!"

Eli doll : "Ok, we'll miss you! Have fun helping your lady get her baby out!"

Then he snapped out of character to ask me a question:

Eli : "Hey, do you remember when you were pushing ME out in my grandma's room on her bed? That was so so so fun!"

Me : "Uh, yeah, it was actually pretty painful, but I was SO happy to see you!"

Eli : "Yeah, well it was fun for me! Yeah, it was the funnest day I never haven't seen."

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"When I grow up, I'm probably going to live in Africa but not Arctica. Because that place is too far down and very very cold. But I will probably want to live in Africa because I like the sun and it's not too far from my grandma's house. But it's not the same continent as her continent, but it's probably pretty close to her continent." - Elijah rambling about his future

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In response to a commercial on Spotify, Elijah said "Mom, that guy just wants us to buy ev. ry. thing! But we don't want everything in the world, just the things we want and that's not too much, right mom?"

Kids Say The Darndest Things - Death

I've decided that when it comes to discussing death (and other big topics), honesty is the best policy. It doesn't take long before kids realize that death is something big. This is what I've told Elijah when he asks "does death hurt?" and questions about when he will die:

"Yes Elijah, we will die one day but it won't hurt for long. The sad thing about death is that it's not natural. Death was not part of creation, so it really hurts the people left behind. You will feel hurt sometime in your life because of death. BUT, The good thing about death is that afterwards, we get to join the biggest party in history! A never ending party with Jesus! Thanks to him, we got an invitation :)."

His response : "And I will get to eat ALLLLLL of my favorite things, like.......cereal and pizza and avocado and candy.....and.....just things like that!"



Other conversations about death:

As we were driving past a small cemetery, Elijah asks "Mom, why isn't there a fence around it?"

Me : "I'm not sure. Maybe it doesn't have a fence because it's just a little cemetery in a church yard and not a BIG cemetery with lots of graves."

Elijah : "I know! It's so that if a old man feels reeeeaaaally old and is dying, he can just walk in and lay down and die with all the dead people."

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Elijah's explanation for lazzy's mystery cries: "It's okay mom, he's just sad 'bout growing up and being a old man and then he's gonna die. That's why he's sad."

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While driving around town, I turned around to check on my sweet boys sitting behind me. I saw Elijah making a strange face, somewhat strained. 

Me : "Eli, do you need to go potty babe?" I was afraid it was too late!

Elijah : "Um, no. I don't."

Me : "Honey, you look like something is wrong. Are you okay?"

Elijah : "Yeah, I was just trying to feel death. 'Cause when yer dead, you don't breathe."

Yeah, he was holding his breath....

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Elijah : "Mom, soon I'm gonna die and I want to die next to you."

Me (holding back the tears and laughter) : "Me too, honey. That would be wonderful because we wouldn't have to feel sad that one of us left without the other one.  BUT, we need to remember that death is up to God. We don't know how or when it will happen, but God does. We'll just have to wait and see what happens."

Elijah : "Okay, but I will ask God if we can die together and He might agree with my plan!"

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Wow, I'm sure the death conversations will continue, but I welcome them. People don't talk enough about these things. Our problem might be if we talk about it too much ;)

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Drama

While eating dinner, Elijah announced "I need to go pee pee!!". I could tell it was an emergency (because, well, it always is) so I scooped him up and ran him to the potty. After he had gone and was washing his hands, he declared:

"Mom, you just saved my life!".

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Our last night on the beach was beautiful. We tossed the frisbee around while the boys splashed and swam. Elijah had already expressed to me his anger about having to leave the net morning. I knew it would be a challenge getting him back to the beach house and in bed for the night.

Me : "Elijah, babe, I know it's sad but we have to get back to the beach house now, shower off and go to bed.."

Elijah : "Mom! NO! I want more minutes!!"

Me : "Ok, let's do 4 more minutes because you're 4." (this usually works by the way.)

Elijah : "NO! I want more! I want like, 7 days more!"

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As I was replacing some batteries in a toy, Lazzy got hold of the screw driver. Elijah saw him and shouted:

"No Laz! You might die!!"

I giggled a bit because, well, it was pretty dramatic. Elijah noticed that I wasn't taking him seriously and then said "Mom, it's true! Sharp things will hurt him and he might die!"

Turns out I don't really need to look out for Laz. He has his own personal protector!

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After FINALLY putting his face under water in the bathtub, Elijah exclaimed:

"Mama!! I did it! I'm so proud that I put my face in the water and blew all my airs out of my nose!! It's like, I'm already a man!"

Kids Say The Darndest Things - Manipulation

Dan and I hosted an outdoor party recently. Elijah got to stay up pretty late, but it wasn't enough for him. After going to bed, he repeatedly came out with multiple excuses as to why he was up, including: needing to go potty, lost his clock, can't think of a certain song, etc.

By 10pm, I had had enough. The consequence of Elijah's actions would be that he could not have a play date the next day because he had interrupted mommy and daddy's play date that night. He was upset, of course and eventually fell asleep.

The next morning (at 7am! my kids never sleep in!!) he says:

"Mama, I talked to God about it and I asked him if he would take away my consequence that my mommy gave me. And guess what!? He said "YES!". Hehe, isn't that happy?"

We believe God is gracious and I certainly want to teach that to my child. However, you'd better believe I did NOT let that one work on me!

Kids DO Say the Darndest Things!

I came across an old post from our Robbins Abroad blog and just had to share it here. When I taught preschool in Malawi, I got to spend my days with 21 four and five year olds. As you can imagine, there was never a dull moment. On Monday mornings, would all sit together and chat about our weekends. I don't think a single child told me the truth about their weekends, but instead, they made up elaborate stories about traveling to America and seeing sharks in Lake Malawi.

If you're in need of a good laugh, check out these hilarious quotes from my teeny tiny students with the biggest imaginations!

RANDOM FUNNY THINGS:

"Everything I make looks like a boy...all the things I make look like boys" Samantha age 4 (referring to her art work)

"Mr Owen, can you go get me my left handed glue?" Bess age 5 (she is left handed, and often asks us for her left handed scissors. Apparently, she thinks she has special glue too!)

"Her doesn't have girls. Becka is my friend. Her has many big boys, much bigger than me, and they go to school." Louisa age 5 (She was talking about her friend Becka who has older brothers)

"When my mom was thin, she was Princess Diana" Merunisa age 5 ( I have NO idea where this one came from!)

"When I went to a party, auntie Laura's party, jelly jelly jelly is food. Yes, we ate it at the party. I went home to sleep. I provoked myself" Daniella age 5 (Again, I have NO idea what she was talking about!)

"When I was a baby, my mom was going somewhere and I was staying at home waiting for her. When she was little, I was also her mother" Daniella (the same Daniella as above)

"You know what Mr. Owen? When I was 4 yrs old, I was 3 yrs old. Can you imagine?" Jon age 5

"We saw that at Shoprite, but it was too baspensive, so we couldn't buy it" Louisa (She was referring to the soap we had at our sink in our classroom)

"By fesians you've been saved" Malaika age 5 (She was trying to recite our memory verse which was Ephesians 2:8 "By grace you have been saved)

"I like ice cream, and my daddy is fat!" Aaliyah age 4

"I do not like cheese. It is not delicious to my mouth. My mouth cannot eat cheese" Samantha

"My daddy says if someone hits my sister, I will karate him" Daniella

-----Conversations among themselves:
"When I grow up, I will go with Sam" Louisa age 5
"No, I'm already going with Sydney" Sam age 4 (Sydney is his sister)
"You can't go with your sister!" Robyn age 5
"No, why don't you go with me Sam?" Louisa
"If you marry your sister, you will have an ogre baby!" Robyn

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"Where is Germany?" Mr. Owen (our class assistant)
"It's very near Mr. Owen, you go across the lake or even walk but you need a bottle of water." Jon age 5
"It's at my house!" Louis (she says this because she is German)
"If Malawi is here, then German is in Lilongwe" Nathan age 5


WEEKEND STORIES:

"I went to South Africa and saw a shark and was fishing!" Merunisa age 5

"I went to America!" Samantha age 4

"On mother's day, I made some cake for my mom and I go to the lake and I didn't see anybody, but I saw my sister. I didn't find my card because I loose it to my house. My mommy is sick. I bake her a cake. There was a party for my mom." Samantha age 4

"I went to the hospital and they took my skin, because I fell down" Nathan age 5

"I went to eat at the place with the Jeep blue" Carey age 5

"I went somewhere else, then I go to Mozambique to see my other sister, Alex. It took 5 weeks, maybe to get there. It was too long." Daniella

Brothers - Botanical Gardens

Riding the sheep

{Laz, 19 months}

 {Eli, 18 months}

At the Koi pond

{Laz, 19 months}

{Elijah, 18 months}

Smelling the flowers

{Elijah, 18 months}

{Laz, 19 months}

both boys are zoned out after a busy morning at the gardens

Elijah : "Mom, when I have my foster sister, can we show her the Botanical gardens?"

Me : "Of course honey! That would be so so much fun! She might already know about it, but she might not, either. Either way, it would be fun to bring her with us."

Elijah : "Yeah, because she will be kind of my sister so she will have to go where I go. I will give her a coin for fish food and teach her how to feed the fish, but only if she is old like me. If she is little, she might eat the coin and choke. That's what Lazzy rascal always wants to do, hehehe."

Kids Say the Darndest Things

It was a sunny day. Heck, a sunny week! 70 degrees and not a cloud in the sky, the boys and I were eating lunch on the back porch when Elijah announced: "It's too sunny. I wish it was a cold cold rainy blustery day."

Me: "Um, that's really weird. Why would you rather it be cold and rainy? I'm loving this sun!"

Elijah: "I want it to rain so we can watch shows all. day. long."

I guess he does have some Seattle blood in him :)

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Elijah sweetly asked me for a glass of milk after nap time. I told him "sure!" and then forgot. He asked again, sweetly, even adding "please nice mama?". Again, "awe....sure, sure...sorry. I'm on it." but I got distracted again and I forgot.

Elijah: "MOM! I wanted some milk but you kept making me forget! Ugh...you always make me forget the milk!" he says angrily.

I couldn't help but giggle as I ran straight to the fridge. For some milk.

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Before bed one night, Elijah hugged me and sweetly said (un-promted!) "mama, I love you always and forever" then kissed me on my nose.

I melted.

Me: "Thanks Lij. Does this mean you will love me even when you're a man?"

Elijah: "Of course! I will love you even when I'm a mans!" he said confidently.

Me: "Will you love me enough to call me on my birthday? Even when you're a man?"

Elijah: "Of course!" (now giggling)

Me: "Will you love me so much that you will call me and visit me for no reason??" (you can see now that my biggest fear about raising boys is that they will forget me when they are grown!)

Elijah: "Mama, I said of course!" now frustrated.

Ooops...crossed the line. I'd better back off or he won't want to call me when he's a man!

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Frustration

Dan and I always look forward to the first 5 minutes after kids are in bed. We sit in the kitchen eating chocolate and share stories from our day. It usually involves us making fun of our children and the silly things they did. Apparently, we've been getting too loud.

Elijah (squint-y eyed): "Um, you guys are not letting me sleep because you are talking very loud and it's waking me up and that's makes me angry. Can you please be more quieter and talk like this?" 

He then starts moving his tiny pencil thin lips but there is no sound. Basically, he just told us to "shut up!".

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No one likes being misunderstood. It's incredibly frustrating when you are stuck in a conversation and the person opposite you just doesn't get what your're saying. Good thing is, most adults have the skills and patience to really work it out. I'm realizing now that it's up to me to teach my kids that with every misunderstanding, there is an opportunity to help someone understand.

Lately, if you do not get the entire story right from the get go, Elijah will scrunch his face and say things like:

"NOoooooo, you're not understanding my story!"

"Ugh. You're ignoring my words!"

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Drama and Grace

Elijah has been known to be dramatic from time to time. Well, alright. Every day he says and does dramatic things, sending Dan and I into laughing fits. The more adjectives he learns, the better it gets, too! He also tries to mimic phrases he's heard, but always gets them wrong. For example:

While driving on the highway with the family, Elijah exclaims: "Dad, you're the fastest race car man that I ever didn't seen!"

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Elijah's reaction to me offering him sweets is only proof of how stingy I am!

Me: "Elijah, would you like to have a cookie with me?"

Elijah : "Totally! Mom, it makes me so so so happy that you want to give me a cookie and it's not even after my dinners! You surprised-ed me! (hahaha-giggling) Yay! I'm SO happy! I haven't been ever this happy in my life and I'm THREE!" (hold up three fingers with a HUGE smile) "Fanks mom!"

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The drama really pours out in stressful situations. While throwing pennies in the mall fountain, Laz got a little close to the edge.

Eli: "Ahh! Lazzy, don't go in! You will get your head smashed on the floor and float away to the whales! Mama, Lazzy's 'bout to go in and get smashed and float away! Mama!! Look!! Get him mama!!"

Needless to say, we've been working on staying calm during stressful moments and possible catastrophes. We've also been talking about how I am the mommy and he is the little boy. Being the little boy gives him the freedom to just play with toys and worry about his own actions and not his little brother's. Unfortunately, we have this talk about five times a day. I'm hoping it starts to stick soon!

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That said, the flip side to a dramatic emotional boy is that he is also very sensitive in a wonderful way. Tonight, Elijah was a complete emotional wreck getting to bed. He fussed about anything and everything.

In the end, Dan took away his new hanging lantern (placed over his awesome new bunk bed) as a consequence to his bad behavior. It was heartbreaking for Elijah to see his "hanging planet" go. As I talked with Eli explaining Dan's reasoning, Elijah decided to pray for a changed heart, knowing his attitude was completely rotten and that he deserved to have it taken away. After a heart felt prayer and a very sincere apology, Elijah asked if he could have his light back "even when i know i don't deserve it". When Dan brought it back in the room, Elijah teared up and simply said "fanks dad for bringing back my lamp".

I truly think he understood the concepts of mercy and grace tonight and it was beautiful. Elijah's heart can be so fickle, so intense, so crazy. But it is the softest little 3 yr old heart I have ever encountered. I'll take the drama if it means I get a son who honestly confesses, loves people deeply and appreciates a father who forgives.

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Elijah Seuss

Getting ready for bed means very few actions and many many words. Our best conversations happen at bedtime. It's when Elijah decides to work on his monologues about tooth paste and bearded ladies, dog treats and pumpkin bread. Everything that is random starts coming out of his rose colored pencil lips and it. is. amazing.

Every night, Elijah spends a few minutes going on a doggie hunt. He searches the house for his two doggies and pretends he can't find them until mommy or daddy get frustrated.

Elijah : "um, mama, i just took a reallllly long time finding my doggies, hehe. i found the little one but not my big doggie. then, i looked and looked and he was in the living room, not on the little table. on the taaaaaaall table. not the brown one. the black one. the black brown tall table not in the living room. (grin)"

Thanks Elijah Seuss.

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We have found doggies, brushed teeth, gone potty, read books and got dressed in pajamas. I've prayed and sang two hymns without missing a verse (hymns are soooo long!). We finally get to the laying in bed part, and this is what comes out:

elijah: "uh, mom, um, um, um what are the fish like when the bears eat them?"


me: "hmm, what do you mean?"

elijah: "um, i mean, wait, i'm trying to tell you something. um, so, when the bears eat the fish, what do they feeeeeel like?"

me : "well honey, they probably hurt. it probably doesn't feel very good to the fish when they are being eaten by bears."

elijah : "oh. (sigh) well, that makes me sad."

me: "i know. it's hard. and pretty sad, too."


elijah : "well, um, but if a big big man scares a bear and makes it mad, then the bear might eat the man! and then, the fish don't have to hurt anymore." (now happy again)

me : "yeah, i guess that works out, doesn't it?"

 I guess he didn't realize that the man would then be suffering from a bear attack!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things - Prayer

Elijah talks to God every night before bed. This is what he says:

"fank you God that i made the strong choice and didn't have to go to bed when i was eating. fank you that i didn't make the weak choice, but i made the strong choice, and not the weak choice. fank you fah-ver for the choice that i made. and fanks for my new jet and that lazzy has his jet that is red and this one is my special jet. in Jesus name, amen."

"dear God, fank you for the fish, the fish, and the fish and the other fish. fank you for the sharks and that they don't believe that fish are food. and Lord, please continue to fix my heart. in Jesus name, Amen."

Kids Say the Darndest Things: Elijah Flies a Plane

The highlight of our flight home was definitely when Elijah sat with the pilot in the cockpit of the airplane before take off. It happened like this:

Elijah and I are walking onto the plane and he quickly peeks into the cockpit before following Dan to our seats. He catches the pilot's eye and starts to chat.

Elijah : "Hi! I'm Eliiiiiiiijah. What's your name?"

Pilot : "Well hello Elijah. My name is Pilot Joe."

Elijah : "Oh. Hi Joe. Fanks for driving the plane."

Pilot : "Oh sure! I love my job. Do you like airplanes?"

Elijah : (nodding intensely) "Yeah, I do!"

Pilot : "Hey, Do you want to come in here and have a seat next to me?" (he then kicks out the co-pilot so Eli can sit in his chair)

Elijah : "Yeah. Fanks! Well, this is my dog, Kipper the dog. (smacks his lips) Yeah. And we flewed a airplane once at the Science Center and my mom crashed it in the water. (now with a sad face and hand gestures) We didn't fly it under the arch because she crashed it."

Pilot : "Well, I won't crash this plane into the water. I've been flyin' planes for a looooong time."

Elijah : "Yeah, that's right. (suddenly excited again) And you have a lot of buttons!"

Pilot : "All these buttons help me to fly the plane. Elijah, maybe you can be a pilot one day. Would you like that?"

Elijah : "Yeah! I would! Aaaaaand a football guy aaaaand a monster truck driver aaaaand a space guy with space goggles in outer space....aaaaand, a pilot!"

Pilot : (he laughs) "I tried talkin' my daughter into flyin' airplanes but I think she's more interested in boys. She's 13." ( he looks at me and I laugh. then I say something stupid trying to be cool)

Elijah : "Heh. Yeah. But Iiiiiiiiii'm intreted in flying airplanes. I'm am." Eli points to himself then turns to me and says "Look mom! I'm a pilot!"

Such a proud moment.

Other conversations on the plane took place.

Elijah : "Hi. What's yer name?" he says to the older man sitting behind us.

Man : "My name is Scott. What's your name?"

Elijah : "Oh. I'm Eliiiiijah. Where are you going?"

Man : "I'm going to work. I live in Seattle but I have to work in St. Louis. Where are you going?"

Elijah : "I'm going home to St. Louis. But I was just at my grammie's house in Seaaaattle. She has white hair. Like you!"

After the entire row laughs, a woman next to Scott asks "Elijah, how old are you?"

Elijah : "I'm three!" he responds while holding up 3 little fingers. "How old are you?"

Woman : "Oh, ummmm.....I'm 10". She obviously didn't want to give away her age. I don't blame her.

Elijah : Wow! That's really BIG!" 

The row of people start laughing again. I'm glad my son was the source of entertainment for so many people on that flight. He brings us so much joy every day, but I love it when others get to share that joy with us.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things (Bull shin!)

Elijah: "Mama, what is bullshin?"

Me: "Bull Shing?"

Elijah: "No! Bullshin. It's from my Rudy movie."

{Putting two and two together, I realized he was saying bullshit. My face got hot.}

Me: "Um, well, bull shin (I just went along with his phrase) is a term grown-ups use when they are mad or they just can't believe what someone is saying to them. You and I say things like 'oh my gosh!' and 'no way!'. "Bullshin" might hurt someone's feelings because it's kind of rude, but when you're a big guy like Rudy, you will probably say "bullshin!" a couple of times, and that's ok. Just not when you're little."

Elijah: "Huh, well......ok!" 

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Me: "Elijah, it's Christmas Eve! Do you know what that means?" I was hoping to have a nice conversation about Christmas. You know, the talk that ends with a warm hug.

Elijah: "Um, it means...it's gonna SNOW!"

Me: "Hmm...actually, I don't think it's going to be a snowy Christmas this year. Sorry honey."

Elijah: "Yes it is mom!" he says angrily with a furrowed brow. "Christmas means little balls of ice are gonna fall. from. the. sky!"

Geez, I guess he'll just have to wait and see who's right about that.

{i'm sorry but i can't take him seriously with his shirt tucked into his underwear!}