Sex Ed for Youngsters

So far, I have been thrilled with our choice to homeschool Elijah this year. The other day, I had food poisoning and could not even fathom getting out of bed for any other reason but to hug that porcelain bowl. I needed two full days in bed to recoup! Getting my wild boys dressed and off to school would NOT have been an option!

We are almost done with our first 12 weeks of school (taking a break near the end of October) and things are going well. Every two weeks, we've been doing unit studies, mostly on a subject Elijah is interested in. The next two weeks, we will focus on childbirth and I'm so excited!!

To set the scene (and answer some pretty big questions about reproduction!), we bought these two books:

Amazing you!

This book is a great way to broach the topic of privacy, while also giving your curious kids and opportunity to learn about the other gender in a safe way. There is one page I do not like and I actually changed the words, ha! Otherwise, it's great and I highly recommend it for ages 4-6 yrs.

It's Not the Stork!  is another great book about anatomy, conception, growing babies and childbirth. This one is detailed and reads more like a text book. It's also silly at times and definitely engages children where they are at. I love how scientific it is! We aren't reading straight through it, but will go through pages 30-44 over the next two weeks which strictly cover conception and childbirth.

We also picked up a few easy picture books about babies in the womb (I think one of them was called "Ma, There's Nothing to do in Here!", ha!!), new siblings in your family and my favorite children's book on homebirth "Welcome with Love".

Dan and I often make last minute decisions about things like school, sex education, and other topics and rules. I'm not sure why we are like this, especially since I am naturally a planner. We do however, strongly believe in telling our children the truth and giving solid answers to their questions. Responding with "you're too young, we'll talk about it when you get older" is not really an option for us. Elijah wants answers NOW and honestly, I think if his mind is mature enough to think about such subjects, then he's mature enough to learn about them. Sex education is something that has started pretty early in our house, but I know it will be an ongoing conversation; one that continues to grow in depth and understanding as our boys grow.

Over time, Dan will take over such conversations as things become more complicated. For now, it's been fun walking the boys through this pregnancy and teaching them about the miracle of love and childbirth and God's plan in creation!! 

Great American Road Trip - Part 2, The Grand Canyon and Moab

The last time I was at the Grand Canyon was 10 years ago. It was right after I had decided to move from Detroit, Mi to Seattle Wa. My boyfriend at the time wanted to see the country, so we drove. It was great, but nothing like my experience this time around. Ten years later, to be driving through the same area because I'm moving to the NW.... lots of similarities, but many more differences.

This time around, I saw it from the South rim (instead of the North rim). I was with my amazing family, while growing a new daughter in my belly. I am 10 years older, wiser and more aware of God's grace in my life. I have changed so much over time. The canyon has probably changed, too. But God's goodness hasn't, and that was very meaningful to me.

We saw, we hiked, we conquered.

Belly shot at the Grand Canyon! I have no idea how many weeks I am...somewhere in the mid 20's.

Even though I had seen it before, our stay at the Grand Canyon was my favorite. The camping was peaceful, the view was amazing and we truly felt refreshed as a family. I am so thankful to have had that time with my boys and my Lord.

Thoughts - On Being a Pastor's Wife

It's June!! We pack our things and hit the road in 3 weeks. I am overwhelmed.

It's not the packing that stresses me out. It's not the 14 day road trip with two children and one growing and kicking in my belly. It's not even the finances-we'll charge it all and pay it off with Dan's new job, woo hoo!!

What I'm overwhelmed by is the life we are driving toward. For the last four years, I've been comfortable in my seminary-wife skin. Sure, it's been intimidating at times and I've embarrassed myself around the table with a few scholars. But it was okay. Seminary was a safe place to be wrong and to ask questions. It was a safe place for us to be a mess, to fail at parenting and to go to marriage counseling. Dan was a student. We were here to learn and learn we did!


In 3 weeks, we drive away from this sweet little city as the Robbins family, but somewhere between the Mississippi River and Yellowstone Park, the titles will change. Dan will be "pastor Dan". Bethany will be "the pastor's wife". My kids will be called "pastor's kids" and others will extend a certain sympathy toward them because of that.



I'm afraid of being someone that people look up to. I'm afraid I'll give the wrong advice or answers. I'm afraid of holding Dan back with my own issues and needs.

BUT!!!

I'm so excited to make new friends. I'm excited to love on people and walk through life with them, to share our struggles and hurts and to celebrate our joys together. I'm thankful we are working for a humble church which focuses on grace, because we all need a lot of that!!

Moving and a new baby are nothing. Been there, done that and I know what to do. Transitioning from student to teacher/teacher's wife? That will be a challenge. Thankfully, we can trust in God for all we need.s

Save the Storks

*I've have been drafting this post for a while. As a doula, a mother and a foster mom, this issue is extremely important to me. It's hard to talk about. Since the Gosnell case came out, I've felt more inclined to post this and feel very confident in Save the Storks, their work and how they are are actually changing and saving lives. I think both sides of the argument would agree that women's health care is important and I firmly believe that is the foundation for Save the Storks. Please at least check out this organization!

You may have seen the recent article by USA today about the horrific abortion clinic in Philadelphia. Abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell is on trial for murder, but where is the news coverage? Where is our government? Where are we?? 

Seriously, this 20 minute 3801 Lancaster Film Project is eye opening and needs to be seen. It's a documentary series which will continue to follow the case.

"How is it, that we have more oversight over hair salons and nail salons than we do over abortion clinics?"

"Abortion facilities are purposefully placed in inner cities and minority neighborhoods to crush the bodies of innocent black children. Make no mistake, abortion is a civil rights issue."

I am constantly amazed at how quickly Americans will argue and fight for their rights to silly things like smoking inside a bar or having the choice to wear a seat belt or not (it's their body, right?). When it comes to human lives, we are out to lunch. I love the quote below which is from the USA Today article:

"You don't have to oppose abortion rights to find late-term abortion abhorrent or to find the Gosnell trial eminently newsworthy. This is not about being "pro-choice" or "pro-life". It's about basic human rights. The deafening silence of too much of the media, once a force for justice in America, is a disgrace."

Planned Parenthood is no better, y'all. I know that they offer many resources to women, including birth control and although we all might have differing opinions about this organization (company?), I think we can all agree that the video below very much unveils how PP really feels about the unborn.

If you still want to give PP the benefit of the doubt, you can hear it straight from the horses mouth. Margaret Sanger, the mother of Planned Parenthood was very open about the purpose and goals of her birth control clinic, originally non-governmental.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where does this leave us? Depressed, angry and calling out for Jesus to return, that's where I'm at! But I want to encourage you. There is so much to be done! Of course, living in community with moms in need, education, support, adoption, fostering - all of these things help to prevent the desire for abortion and we need to be involved.

In light of our latest foster placement, I've been thinking a lot about ways people should be fighting the abortion battle. Many people actually use foster care and welfare to encourage the use of abortions throughout our country.  Our world is broken and there are always people in need. The solution is not to wipe them out!

Personally, words do not mean as much to me as actions do. I'm not talking about the action of holding a sign outside Planned Parenthood, but more along the lines of what Save the Storks is doing. It's really an incredible thing!

Save the Storks Dallas Bus Story from SavetheStorks on Vimeo.

Pro-Family. Pro-Health. Pro-Life.

How can you help?

• You can donate your money. The money you would otherwise spend on unnecessary items like iTunes or another pair of black shoes. Save a bit for a month and give that to this organization.
• You can blog, tweet, and share on facebook about Save the Storks. Getting the word out helps others to get involved and support this amazing ministry which in turn, saves lives.
• If you have a hard time just giving your money away, consider purchasing a t-shirt. All proceeds go towards purchasing more vans to give to pregnancy centers.

The reason I love this organization is because they offer women a chance to actually see their babies, to get information and to learn about their choices. Planned Parenthood claims to do that, but I personally believe their main agenda is not centered around women's health. Save the Storks empowers women, respects them and gives them the time and information they deserve when facing such a difficult choice.

My friend wisely posted this as her facebook status in response to the Gosnell trial. It describes exactly how I feel.

To mothers who think they cannot bear to have or care for a child, hear this: 
we love you, we want to support you, and we want to raise your children 
through adoption. Please let them live.


To the people who are performing these abortions, Jesus wants to redeem 
you. Your actions are murder, and there is forgiveness.


To our nation's leaders, DO SOMETHING. Make abortion, especially late 
term abortion, illegal. Provide or fund support programs for mothers who 
can't care for a child. 


To parents, talk to your children about sex and about consent. If your child 
finds themselves with an unwanted pregnancy, support and love them. Do not 
shame them.


To myself, pray. Keep moving toward adoption. Become an advocate for 
mothers and their unborn children. Stop being quiet.

Happy Easter

Ten years ago, I visited my sister and brother-in-law who were living in Seattle at the time. God was not a part of my life and I had no idea it was Easter week. Lucky for me (a bitter and dark hearted non-believer), my brother-in-law worked for the church and I found myself spending a lot of time in the house of God that week. By Easter Sunday, my life was changed. I gave up my fight and finally, for the first time, received the amazing love offered to me by my God on that day Jesus died. That's how I ended up in Seattle. That's how I met Dan and life continued from there.

Now, I have two adorable boys and a baby on the way. I want nothing more than for them to always trust the love of God. I also know that God has a plan for their lives, for their faith and their future. Still, it begins in the home.

The Jesus Story Book Bible is such a wonderful gift to my children. The way it's written with Jesus always at the center, it makes my heart glad. Here is the Easter story, for all ages:

10 years ago, I had to decide if I would devote my life to disproving Christ's death and resurrection or if I would believe and devote my life to following this amazing man. Either he (and everyone around him) was crazy or he really was the son of God. I'm thankful for 10 amazing years of walking with LOVE himself and am amazed at how that walk has changed my inner being.

He is risen. He is risen indeed!!
Happy Easter!

Roller Coaster Weekend

This weekend has been a roller coaster ride! It all began Thursday afternoon when a phone call interrupted my nap (my first in weeks, so very very special). It was about a potential foster placement.

{What? It's been so long since our last placement, I kind of forgot we did that crazy thing!}

I barely heard what the poor lady said but I was able to mumble out "uh, I'll talk with my husband and call you right back." It wasn't until I talked with Dan that I realized this placement was for a newborn BOY.

The back story of all this is, well, to put it simply - I WANT A DAUGHTER!!! Okay, I said it here on the blog. Judge away.

Honestly, I love my boys more than life itself. I've been surprised by how fun life is with two boys. BUT, I have longed for a daughter in my life. I have two dear sisters whom I can't live without and my relationship with mom would make you pretty jealous. I want that with my children, too!

Over the last 6 months though, God has been changing my heart on this issue. As Dan and I discuss adoption and having more children, I've begun to imagine myself as a mother of all boys. Not only have I come to terms with that possibility, but I actually get excited about it.

SO, here's where our next foster placement comes in. 

Y'all, HE has stolen. my. heart!!!!

He was born just a few days ago but hasn't yet been released from the hospital due to jaundice. We have spent the weekend dropping kids off with friends so we can spend time with our newest little guy in the NICU. Every time I see him, my heart skips a beat and I cry when I leave him. I want to study his face, all his thick dark hair and the fuzz on his shoulders. He's so fresh. So new and fragile. My heart aches to protect him from all the bad that surrounds him.

As always, we have NO idea what the future holds but I'm surrendering myself to God's plan. I've know Him long enough to know that HE is ALWAYS right. ALWAYS!

I cannot believe it, but I've fallen in love with yet another baby boy and now I know for sure that God's plan for our family (whether they stay forever or only for a while) is absolutely what I need. Hopefully, we'll be bringing baby boy home tomorrow. Time to put away the pink and bring out the blues!

I won an Award! (again..)

So, this is the second time I've won this sweet little Liebster award. Sad thing is, I never got around to "accepting" it last time. AH!!! Sorry Pam!!

Anyways, second time's the charm, eh?

I've got a new bloggy friend and her name is Kaylynn. She blogs over at Colb, Kay, and T.Rae and is the blogger who gave me the Leibster award.

So what is the Liebster Award? Here's what Kaylynn said about it : "The Liebster Award's origins are pretty much a mystery. Bloggers nominate other bloggers that have 200 or less followers. “Liebster” is German for “favorite,” so this is kind of like the “favorite blog award.” It's basically a "Hey, that's a sweet little blog you've got there. Here's an award!" You can't just accept the award. You have to play by the (ever changing) rules and pay it forward. Then you can put the award on your blog for all to see. "

Consider my answers below as my "acceptance speech".

1. What is your favorite make up item? My vegan handmade foundation powder from Madison Street Beauty on Etsy.

2. Are you laid back or high stress? Depends on the day. Naturally, I'm a little high stress (on time, organized and always planning my next step.) but since living in Africa and having kids, I've become more laid back about things (I'm often late, my house is a wreck and I have no idea what we're doing in life!!).

3. What is your favorite TV show? Call the Midwife, hands down. Second and third favorites are Up All Night and New Girl. Hilarious!!

4. Favorite article of clothing? My trusty vintage red boots. They go with everything and are absolutely amazing.

5.  Least favorite thing to clean? Do I have to say it out loud? Isn't it obvious what with only one in the house and 3 boys who use it often?? The TOILET!!!

6. Early bird or night owl? Definitely early bird.

7. Baking or Cooking? Baking. I like putting in a lot of work up front and then relaxing while the oven does the rest of the work :)

8. You have 3 wishes: GO! Besides the obvious world peace and solving poverty and hunger problems in the world.....1. A daughter.  2. Good health for my family and friends.  3. Clear direction on what to do/where to go next.

9. Last movie you saw? The Rescuers Down Under (fun kids movie!!). More seriously, I saw The Hobbit 3D over Christmas vacation and really liked it!

10. Final thing you do before going to bed? Discipline my kids, pray and sing for them, yell at them to get back into bed and then I usually pass out during or directly after an episode of New Girl.

11.  Team Edward or Team Jacob? (haha- couldn't resist :D)  I honestly do not know what this means. I thought maybe it was a reference to LOST, but now, I can't remember if there's an Edward. Sorry Kaylynn!!!

SO, now I get to pass on the award to a few sweet blogs! They have to answer the questions below and continue the Liebster Awards by handing it out!

What the Hart Likes

Diary of a Southern Drama Queen

In the Land of Sugar

Making All Things New

My questions for the above bloggers:

1. If you had to move next month, where would you go?

2. Do you exercise? Love it or hate it?

3. Ice cream or cake?

4. Which season is your favorite and why?

5. What artist/album are you listening to today?

6. What can you live without right now?

7. What's the most adventurous thing you've done?

8. Who would play you in a movie about your life?

9. What are you reading currently?

10. East Coast or West Coast?

Alright! I'm excited to see your answers!! Thanks again Kylynn for the award!!

God Made ME!

Our charming four year old has been very interested in human reproduction lately. I guess you can't blame him with all the pregnancy and childbirth books we have lying around the house, not to mention all the labor and birth conversations he probably overhears during his play dates! Then there's the added readings and talks of a virgin named Mary who conceived Jesus without ever having been with a man. He's trying to wrap his mind around it, and it's hard!

I'm having a lot of fun explaining things to his spongy little mind. He's curious and ready to learn, so we give answers. As we talk about sex, babies and life, Elijah doesn't hesitate to remind me that it's really GOD who makes people. Wow, is he right! I often forget the miracle it takes for cells to come together at the right time, to work together and grow into more cells which become intricate little people with personalities, gifts, dreams and callings. Really, everything God makes is an absolute miracle, and He does it all for His glory. Whether we notice it or not, He's creating because He can. He delights in it.

I came across these amazing pictures of snow flakes taken by Russian photographer Andrew Osokin.

As the boys and I oohed and ahhed over each snow flake, I remembered that the same God who made these perfect little things made me, too! I am just as unique, just as intricate and just as fragile. I loved sharing this with Elijah and Lazarus. In understanding creation as pure glory for God, they understand who they are and why they were made. There is so much in creation that our eyes will never see, but that doesn't take away it's significance. God sees. God cares. He knows.

In fact, He is such a caring, seeing and knowing God that He left his home, became a refugee's child in a politically unstable time in history to show such love to His creation. If I do everything else wrong as a mother, I hope I at least teach my boys about this one amazing truth.

Merry Christmas!! May God bless you today with the truth of HIS love and sacrifice for you, his treasured creation, the joy of His very heart!

Heroes or Followers of God?

I totally meant to share this at Thanksgiving, but better late than never! It's a news story about some friends of ours from church. Not only are they friends, they are role models. They are the very family that put the fostering seed in our minds, encouraged us to consider taking in stranger kids and then brought us a meal with our first placement.

Micah and Heather Maupin have hosted adoption discussion nights at their house. They've been open about their struggles and joys of their growing family (11 kids and 1 on the way!). They've helped countless families as they began their own foster and adoptive journeys. In short, they are great. But they aren't perfect.

I think it's important not to put people on pedestals. So many people have praised Dan and I for fostering. They've called us angels and heroes. But we are so far from that!! If only they knew the ways we failed our kids and each other in the process. If only they knew the struggles we've had just to love a handful of children who weren't ours. Micah and Heather constantly point people to God as their reason to adopt, their strength to raise 11 children and their comfort in the midst of their failures. It's important to them, and us, that people know we are simply following God with this, as many of YOU are following God's call to do so many wonderful things with your lives!!

"You never really know if you can do something until you actually try it. They add so much more to our lives than what we think we are going to give to them." - Micah

It's like I say with natural childbirth, I don't foster because I'm strong or good at it or because I'm some mama warrior. No, I do it because I think it's important and right to do so. It's really hard (read: annoying, painful, gross, dirty, stinky, tiring, boring and lonely) to foster, but that's not a reason NOT to foster.

I dreamed last week that we got a call for twin 17 month old girls. I woke up sad to realize it was only a dream. Still praying for the right kid(s) to join us for a while!!

Taking Back Christmas

I've always known that I wanted Christmas to stand out to my kids. I want them to believe in the REAL miracle, not sell them a fake one. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that Santa is of the devil or anything. I grew up with Santa, and I LOVED every bit of it. My mom is a thoughtful giver, I honestly don't think she could help herself! 

(last year's loot!)

I also didn't have a problem trusting my parents later in life, at least I don't think so, ha! Still, I find it strange that as Christians, we spend so much time, money and effort building up a lie about Christmas when we could be spending all that energy building up the truth!

Now that my children are old enough to notice, it's getting harder and harder to be intentional. I recently read this blog post which helped me re-prioritize and make a plan for how our family will celebrate this season year after year. Because I am a giver (like my mom!), I already bought too much stuff for the boys. None of it was expensive, in fact much of it is thrifted (even the brand new packages of Color Wonder I found at Goodwill!). Still, I'm afraid it's the amount of stuff that will cloud the beautiful picture of our God coming down to our level to save us. It's important to me that we celebrate the truth, yes with gifts but always with the focus of Christ.

Dan and I have talked a lot about what kind of traditions we want to have with our little family. Neither of us are sentimental, so we struggle with sticking to the same plan every year. Still, there are things we find important and so will strive to do them each year, in hopes that Christ will be communicated to our children, not greed and a made up character.

From now on, we will at least do the following:

- Advent reading schedule with our Jesus Storybook Bible
- The 4 presents rule from the above blog post: something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. (all the extras I bought this year will be saved until birthdays)
- Stockings are reserved for stickers, glow sticks, oranges and tooth brushes. No big gift cards or loaded with chocolate.
- Christmas tree bought from boy scout troop lot (this one is Dan's new tradition)
- Enjoy EVENT traditions (decorating tree, driving around looking at Christmas lights, volunteering, singing carols, etc.)
-Give a family gift through Compassion's Gift Catalog

If you'd like to educate your child on the history of Santa Claus, the real St. Nicholas and other Christmas traditions, I recommend these short videos through the History channel.

What traditions do you keep each year with your family? Advent calendars? Jesse trees? Countdowns? I am open to suggestions and ideas. There are so many good ones out there!!

Feeling Responsible

In the last 2 months, we've been called for four foster placements and only said "yes" to one. We've talked about how fostering and adopting is strange because you feel more in control of your family. You literally go through a list of things you want or don't want in a child, all the way down to age, race and gender. Though it's true we have technically "chosen" who can or cannot come into our home, it is also true that it is God who decides. Just like He gives us our biological children to care for, God has a list of little lives He wants to bless us with through fostering. It is not up to us!!

There are reasons we said "no" to the other placements; timing, illness or just the truth of the overwhelming task it would be. For one possible placement, we didn't get back in touch with the case worker in time and they found another family. Disappointment and confusion are all part of the waiting game with fostering. When the call comes, there is a rush of adrenaline that floods the house. As details are shared and the work load is better understood, the sense of responsibility overcome you. "What will happen if we don't take these sick newborn twins? We are responsible for their lives! How can we say NO?".

The truth is, God loves these children and cares for them whether that's through our family or somewhere else. In order for Dan and I to give what these children need, we have to be prayerful and smart about who or what we take on.

We cannot wait for our next placement and what it will mean for our family. We are ready to jump back in, grow, be stretched and share all that we have with whoever God chooses to give us. But waiting is so so hard! In the meantime, I"m trying to enjoy the quiet before the next storm. Thankfully, our city has lots of ways to keep distracted!

Our library story time ROCKS! Stories, songs and a craft make Monday mornings feel like vacation. (If you're in St. Louis, come join us! Story time at the Kings HWY branch in South City starts at 10:30am Monday mornings!)

Story/craft time at the Missouri History Museum (St. Louis residents, this is a great way to spend a Friday or Saturday morning in the cold winter months! Kid zone is open from 10am-12pm with story time at 10:30am!!)

Gaining serious cool points for driving my kids to an amazing space ship playground!

Then, there's the usual play dates at our house. Watching 4 boys and 1 girl under 5 yrs old. I don't want to get rusty! I've got to keep up on my 'watch multiple kids under a tiny age' skills!

(the little girl and I played doll house all morning!)

Building a "wild dragon fortress" with Elijah.

It's nice to have time with my boys, to sleep through the night and to be able to go out on a moments notice. Still, I'm eager to care for the lost and forgotten, the sick and abandoned. Hopefully this post will be followed by one of a placement announcement!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Giving thanks is a hard thing to do sometimes. It means acknowledging you've been given something to be thankful for. Most times, that means letting go of our control and admitting that our own abilities are not always how we get to where we are.

As a believer, it's important for me to remember that the one who gives is powerful. He does not owe me a thing. In fact, what he did owe me and could have given me is absolutely scary. BUT, He gave me His son (His forgiveness) and through Him, He gave me life. 

This year, I am most thankful for people. The people I am close with, the ones I miss, new friends and little people. Those that I get annoyed with and those I disagree with. I am thankful for relationships and how they have formed me, challenged me and supported me throughout the last year. I am thankful God has given people so much purpose and meaning. What a beautiful thing.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!! Enjoy the day giving thanks!!

What I Wore - A Birth on my Birthday

Friday night, I visited a dear friend and doula client as she was admitted to the hospital. Things were very slow so I slept all night and had a morning out with my boys and my man. We headed downtown to a vintage clothing store located above City Museum.

This is City Museum. I still haven't gone inside, but Dan and I will do that before we leave St. Louis. We actually had fun exploring the outdoor area.

Going up to the sale. There were mirrors everywhere.

This is what I wore, all thrifted (besides the purse which was a gift). Even my birthday button is thrifted! The outfit below cost $22.

We rarely go to Baleout, but they were having a clearance sale that we just couldn't miss! Vintage clothing everywhere!!!

We walked away with 1 coat each, a kids vest and a skirt for a total of $8.

I love my new cropped red jacket. It was priced at $42, but I got it for $1. Yay!

Such a fun morning out! And to top it off, my client's baby came on my birthday. Here's me and the birthday girl.

On my way home from the birth, I called my mom to talk shop a bit. Turns out she delivered a baby that morning! What a sweet way for both of us to celebrate my own birth and my mother's fourth personal birth story. Life is truly a gift and the way lives enter the world change us forever. I'm thankful for my creator for making my life, for my mom who worked so hard to deliver me and for all of those who have sustained and supported my life over the years. Oh, and thank you little baby girl for reminded me of the mystery and miracle of life!

linking up with:

The Pleated Poppy

And

And Just Like That....

...we have a baby! This morning, I got a call for a new foster placement. We've gotten two calls in the last month for a set of siblings. After our last experience, we knew we could only take on one more child while Dan is in class and away from home so much. SO, when I got the call for a 5 month old baby girl, I said "yes" without even asking for her name!

A few hours later, we met the sweet thing and now she lays, sleepy eyed in the sling while my boys "craft" with feathers and tissue paper and I type along to Christmas music (don't judge me!). It's strange how one phone call can change the entire game.

Welcome to the chaos little girl!

Dan and I had big plans for a night without kids this weekend. Movies, museums and SLEEP were all in the plans. Along with a 13 hour work day for Dan and a women's marriage conference for me on Saturday. Oh, and I have a doula client who is overdue. Of course.

Taking this baby girl in meant letting go of our plans. Or rather, giving them to the Lord. He provided a way for us to help this tiny person and He will provide a way for us to get through the weekend.

Dan is in class until 9:30 tonight. He won't even meet baby girl until the morning. Well, who knows. He might be meeting her over and over again throughout the night! I'm just so thankful we have the time and means to take this child in and support her through a rough time in her life. She doesn't know it, but she is loved by four strangers who don't share her name, skin color, culture, neighborhood or so many other things. But, circumstances have united us together this afternoon and I'm happy to have her. Even if it means my date night has to wait :)

Waiting. Again.

Our lives are in limbo. Every little thing going on is about to change in possibly major ways. It's fine with me except even the time frame is completely vague. Let me help you understand:

-Dan is graduating in May

-Ordination will follow soon after

-We have 5-7 possible options for work after graduation

-Each option is in a different city/country/continent!!

-Should Dan get a ThM or do part time PhD work? Should we take a break from school for a while?? This all depends on where we end up.

On top of all that, we are playing the "Foster Placement Waiting Game" again. The length of our time in St. Louis depends on the situation of our next placement.

This stage of life is crazy. I feel unsettled, especially as every conversation Dan and I have is talking about our ability to learn German, Amharic or Swahili! As stressful as it could get, Dan and I are both patiently waiting it out. Eventually, God will reveal His grand master plan, right? We just get to enjoy each day being faithful in what He's given us to do now. That's all we can do. I trust my Lord. I know He wants good things for us, but most importantly, He wants to use us! I am praying that He will mold our hearts to want what He wants for us. Whatever God chooses for Dan and I to do, I want to follow and trust in Him. And have fun!!

So, these next few days, I'll be playing with my kids, cuddling them and organizing a lot of baby girl clothes!

{Lazzy sings 7 Nation Army in his underwear}

Some friends of our are building a house in the neighborhood. We have our own personal construction site!!

Just keeping busy and trying to be faithful in the day to day stuff, ya know?

Elijah's First Day

Elijah and Dan drove away at 8:07am this morning. Off to school they went. Just like that. Gone.

There are two things I cannot believe right now:

1. This is Dan's LAST YEAR in seminary. Wow, never thought this year would come!!

2. This is Elijah's first day of pre-school. Honestly, I never planned for this day to come!

When talking about pre-school with other friends of youngins, I heard the following reasons they decided to go through with it, all of which meant absolutely nothing to me:

- It's good for kids to interact with other children. I'm sorry, but Elijah has NO problem making three play dates a day. This boy is social. Besides that, we have kids in and out of our house. He shares a room with three other bodies for goodness sake! If anything, he interacts too much.

- It's good for your kids to have another adult authority in their lives. I believe this is true, which is why we've taught Elijah to respect adults and we give him plenty of opportunities to practice this (Sunday school, weekly babysitters, joining us in adult activities and dinners, etc.).

- Pre-school is a great place for kids to learn how to follow directions. Ok, sure, but shouldn't your kid already know how to do that at four years old???

I really had a hard time saying "yes" to the whole pre-school thing. I taught pre-school when we lived in Malawi. I know what they learn and I was excited to do that with Elijah. I can't believe we are paying someone else to do the things I've been hoping and planning to do with Elijah at home.  I hate to think he'll miss out on our weekly field trips to the Zoo and Science Museum. I hate thinking about rushing him out the door three mornings a week and pushing back nap time so I can pick him up at 12:30pm. Four years old is too early of an age to let go of your child. If Elijah is anything like his daddy, he has 25+ years of school ahead of him. Why start now with a glorified daycare? He is simply too young!

Alright, emotional rant over. In the end,  I said "yes", we signed him up and sent him off to pre-school. It came down to the fact that he will benefit from a break from our home which is always in transition. He can be in a consistent place, grow and learn and be fed intellectually. I just cannot do that for him right now as a foster mom. He's surrounded by toddlers and babies who ruin his plans. School will be a safe place for him to explore, build and try new things without Lazilla knocking it all down. Does he absolutely NEED that? No. He'd be fine if he stayed home, too! I just see school as a gift of relief to Elijah, a way for us to love him while we minister to the kids who come through our revolving door.

Sometimes I feel like I'm putting our foster children first, especially when it came to the pre-school decision. BUT, the truth of it is, we are all learning what it means to sacrifice our wants and needs for other people in the world. That is something I want Elijah to learn how to do well. If he needs to be shipped off to school 3 days a week so I can attend meetings and court dates and love on these lost little babies, well, it's okay!

And trust me, Elijah is every bit excited for school and has NO idea I've had such an emotional struggle with this decision. He's elated and thinks we've given him the world!

Top 10 - Ways to Love and Serve the Orphaned and Neglected

Every day in Missouri:

• 4 children are sexually abused 

• 16 babies are born at low birth weight 

• 21 children enter foster or residential care 

• 24 teenagers give birth 

• 164 children are found to be abused or neglected 

• 129 law violation referrals are made to juvenile courts 

• 128 calls are made to the Child Abuse Hotline 

• 252,485 children live in poverty

The statistics above are shocking. After reading them for the first time, my heart sank. It wasn't until I started talking with other foster and adoptive families that I realized this: Dan and I do not have to wait until we move back to Africa to serve and care for orphans. I know this to be true and Dan and I do support and give to organizations that care for orphans, but I never felt compelled to do anything here in St. Louis. I am so grateful for the individuals who have shared their stories and encouraged us through the fostering process so far.

Hopefully, more people will trust in God's strength and not let fear hold them back from changing the lives of these little ones. Sometimes you just don't know where to begin because it's so overwhelming! To get you started, here are my Top 10 ways to love and serve the orphaned and neglected children across the world:

10. Give Financially. This is probably the easiest way to support orphans. There are so many people out there who spend their lives physically caring for orphans, but they need your resources. Not everyone feels called to adopt or start an orphanage in Peru. BUT, everyone has money they could give instead of splurging on that extra frozen coffee. Their are countless organizations, but the ones below are those that I personally support.

• Children of the Nations
• Compassion International
• Ministry of Hope

9. Visit them! You know the group your church is sending to South America in 8 months? Consider going! Many people think that the money for air fare is better spent on diapers for the orphans, but I believe that a physical connection is worth something, too. The volunteers are greatly encouraged by short term teams and the babies never get enough hugs!! 

 

You can visit the links above for info about visiting children across the world, but you don't always have to get on a plane to visit orphans. Did you know there is a crisis nursery here in St. Louis?? I'm sure there is one in every city.

8. Volunteer. There are crisis nurseries all of the U.S. You could sign up to be a Big Brother or Sister. You could also volunteer to work in a crisis pregnancy center to educate and support women who choose to keep their babies in unplanned pregnancies. There are so many ways to support and love children in your community who are orphaned, neglected or in danger of becoming so.


7. Sponsor an orphan!  I mentioned Compassion International above. They are one of many organizations where you can sponsor a child and send them to school.

6. Throw a baby shower!  If you know someone who is adopting, offer to throw a shower. Families who adopt need baby gear, too! You can either do it before they get placed or afterwards if the gender/age is unknown. Showers are a great way to celebrate a growing family and show your support and encouragement to families who adopt and foster.


5. Babysit for foster/adoptive families. We had to take a 9 week long class to become foster parents and needed a lot of babysitting. We have amazing supportive friends who saved us lots of money by babysitting for free! If you know a family who has just acquired new kids, offer to help out somehow. Even a half hour can give parents the break they need to get through the day and be better for their children.

4. Bring a meal. Just as you would bring dinner to a family with a new baby, new foster/adoptive families want food, too!! No matter how children come into your home, it's a huge life change that takes time getting used to. One less meal for mom to make is a blessing. TRUST ME!

3. Become a foster family! Talk with people you know who have fostered before. You'll be surprised at how not-scary fostering or adopting can be! Is your church hosting an adoption seminar? Attend! It doesn't mean you have to take a kid home with you that day, but it might start a life changing process (for you and your family, not just the adopted child :).


2. Adopt! I know this is not for everyone, but I honestly believe more people need to be adopting. Many people I know have already made the decision not to adopt by saying "I don't think that's for us..." without giving it much thought. Look into it. Ask questions and seek wisdom from families who have been there before. Your heart AND situation might change.


1. Pray. Pray for specific ministries that serve orphans. Pray for families you know who are in the midst of an adoption or fostering process. Pray for God to show you how to get involved and to prepare or change your heart. God cares about these little ones!!