America Through the Eyes of an African Man

Owen has been in America for exactly one week today.

It took about 3-4 days before he truly adjusted to the time change. At first, I thought maybe he was bored here or sad about leaving home, and then I remembered the 6 times we've made that journey...yeah, he's just living in a fog. It will pass.

We've all loved having him here. Catching up has been so much fun! The boys are thankful for fresh meat in the house: "Uncle Owen, look at this!" is said about a million times a day. And what do ya know, uncle Owen has the energy to engage them every. single. time. THANKTHELORD!

One of the funnest things about having Owen here is seeing America through the eyes of an African. For years, he's walked American's through African culture, guiding them, explaining things, translating phrases and signs. Now, it's our turn! Here are the top 5 things Owen has noticed about America that is either funny, shocking or strange:

1. Driving on the right side of the road. All week, Owen has been coming to the wrong side of the car, kicking his feet into the ground as if to break and nervously looking around at the traffic...he's not used to being on the right side of the road! I remember having similar "we're going to crash!" thoughts while driving through Malawi at first. It passes with time and when he's back home, he'll have to adjust all over again.

2. The food! It's everywhere and it's delicious. Owen especially loves the doughnuts although I think he is afraid of returning to Africa fat, ha! We do eat a lot of doughnuts and ice cream around here.

3. The TRUCKS. Owen cannot believe how many big trucks (and other SUVs) drive around town with only a few people inside of them. Most people would agree that a large vehicle which transports only 1 human is pretty wasteful, but to an African, it's absurd. All that room inside the car being wasted? And all of that space in the truck bed, just empty? Ah! It's crazy!

4. Dogs! His first full day here, Owen spent some time walking around downtown. He was at a coffee shop and suddenly saw a dog sitting next to him at a table. He almost grabbed a rock to throw at it, ha! You see, in Africa, dogs are not anything you'd want near you, let alone in your car, in your house or sitting at your table in a restaurant. They are animals. Period. So, you can imagine his surprise when he saw a dog in the passenger seat of a car for the first time!! Oh and the calendars, ha! That really did him in!

5. Target. Owen has heard about Target for years from American missionaries. Malawi does now have a shop similar to Target where you can get home items, but the prices are crazy high and the quality is crap. Watching Owen walk through Target was seriously the highlight of my entire week. When we got home, he literally said to me "Thanks Beth, hey! I really enjoyed that!".

He'll be thrilled when I announce this afternoon that it's time for another Target run :)

A New Addition!

No, baby girl has not come early. While we wait for her arrival, we are prepping a different room for another new addition to the family this year. Our dear friend Owen is coming all the way from Malawi! We met him while working at ABC over 5 years. He's always talked about coming to America for school and now, it's really happening! We are so excited to welcome him, introduce him to Target (which he's heard A LOT about) and our new city here in Bellingham. We are driving down to the Seattle airport this morning to pick him up, fresh from his 36 hour traveling journey!

Uncle Owen meeting Elijah for the first time.

Best buds

I cannot wait for the boys to reconnect with their uncle Owen!!

The Next Time I Want to Complain....

...I will remember all the hard working women in Malawi. These women seriously have something to complain about. 

 

 

Instead, they just smile, teaching me to live each day as it is given to me, with thankfulness.

(pics taken in Zomba and Mataplia Village in Malawi)

Missing Home {One of Many}

About every few months, I find myself missing one of my many homes. Sometimes I miss the North West and all of our dear family and friends who live there with their beautiful children I hardly know. Sometimes, I miss my parents' house, tucked away in a Tennessee valley. Sometimes I long for Heaven!

Today, I miss my Malawian home, Lilongwe. It's just been on my mind. I have been thinking and praying for our friends who still live and work there. A lot has changed since we lived in that peaceful country almost 3 years ago. I worry for their future but am encouraged by the work ABC is doing. I know for a fact that the graduates truly are making a difference. Still, I miss it and my heart aches for the people of Malawi during political tension. Elijah has also been asking lately if we will move back when he is five. Oh Elijah, if only we knew for sure. Things are more up- in-the air now than ever before. We've got a little over a year left of seminary and the possibilities seem endless. I just want Africa.

My husband and I have been watching the latest season of The Amazing Race. We're pretty sucked in and have been known to watch more than one episode at a time (benefits of watching it after it airs!). We were so excited and homesick when episode 6 opened with an introduction to Malawi as the teams landed at the Lilongwe Airport. When I read missionary friends' blog posts about the weather and bugs and challenges with fuel shortages, I long to be there with them, complaining along side them.

Today, I miss my African home.

Brothers

I love that both my baby boys have had the amazing experience of bathing outdoors in Africa. So sweet!

Missing Malawi

I'm missing Malawi tonight. While I was cleaning up my desk, I found a letter from Eli's nanny, Christina. It made me cry. To bring myself some comfort, I've been listening to this video (and other videos of Ministry of Hope choirs). Turn up the volume and see if you don't get chill bumps.

It's been 14 months since we left Africa and I am itching to get back soon.

Wear your brothers, wear your sisters

It's not unusual for older siblings to wear their younger brothers and sisters. While their parents are busy working the fields, siblings wear the little ones to school and play fields in the villages. Babywearing is an intricate part of babysitting for Africans.

Village people baby wearing

Friends become your family when you're living far from home. It was sad to say goodbye to our families especially with a new baby, but we also couldn't wait for our friends in Malawi to meet Eli. He quickly became accustomed to African culture. Eli loved being my little Joey when I wore him in the front, but if put on the back, he preferred being with Christina.

He literally cried when I put him on my back.

Christina and I had become very close. Naturally, I wanted Elijah to love her as much as I did. Wearing Elijah gave her the opportunity to know him intimately and for him to trust her like family. Other friends and family members can give your back a break while bonding with the littlest ones you love. It's especially wonderful for the people you don't get to see very often. Share the love and let others connect with your children. It really does take a village so why not let the village people wear your babies?

Wearing my first baby

I didn't start wearing Elijah until he was about 4 months old. I knew I wanted to use a sling, but only had the bigger size that didn't fit him until his chub came in. Once he could fit the sling, I felt liberated. It was amazing the number of things I could do while using both my hands! It was easy to get work done at the school. I could grade tests and make copies while Elijah peacefully napped in the sling. My shopping trips in the markets required me to be hands free. I didn't mind the boys in the market helping me with Elijah, but I wanted him close to me when I visited the larger markets.

Thankfully I had help for the days when I forgot the sling.

Picking out fabric is hard to do with a baby in your arms. The sling makes it possible to be sized by the seamstresses.

I loved the idea of Eli being close to me. I spent 9 months with him literally by my side (or in front of my sides I suppose) and after he was born, wanted to cuddle him as long as possible. In Africa, people live by the idea that it takes a village to raise a child. Often times, I would enter a church or market place and Elijah would be quickly taken out of my arms. I had no idea when he would be returned. Most days I appreciated the help and was thankful for the break but sometimes I just wanted to hold my own baby. If he was in the sling, I knew people would at least hesitate a bit more before swooping in and grabbing him.

Children are growing up so fast these days. I know I sound like an old lady when I say that, but it's true. Kids get cell phones at age 10 and they seem to be hitting the disgruntled teenage stage by the time they're 12! Ever since Elijah was born, I've made it a priority to smother him with cuddles and kisses, knowing that he wouldn't allow me to do that for very long. Wearing him gave me that much more time to be close with him.

(check in tomorrow for another baby wearing post in honor of International Babywearing Week)

Just for fun

Babywearing for me is more like a hobby. I'm not ready to say that it's better than other ways of transporting your children. I personally enjoy the benefits of closeness and simplicity but my biggest reason for babywearing is convenience. It's convenient for shopping and getting things done around the house and in town. It's easier to wear your baby than get out all the gear and push them in the stroller. We have plenty of options when it comes to keeping our babies safe and out of the way while we work. If we put them in a carrier, it's because I want to. I rarely do it out of complete and utter necessity.

In Africa, women wear their babies because they have to. First of all, their aren't too many side walks in the village. Honestly though, with a surplus of black mambas and poisonous spiders and a lack of swings and bouncers, on your back is the safest place for your child to be. Women in Africa start the day sweeping their homes and fetching water at 5am. Between the washing, cooking and farming, women are going non stop. With so many physical responsibilities, wearing your baby on your back keeps them out of the way while still close to you. Elijah loved being worn on the backs of our Malawian friends. It was comfortable for him and he liked being a part of the action.

This is Happy, our gardener who wore Elijah while watering the plants.

Africans do so much physical labor throughout the day. Fires and machetes are usually things you don't want your baby to touch. By wearing their babies on their backs, they are keeping them safe while they get their work done.

Elijah and Esther

Last night, we had a blast hanging out with the Spencer family (all 10 of them!). The Spencers are here in St. Louis on furlough for the year and we are so glad. They were one of our favorite families to spend time with at ABC. Dan and I taught 3 of their 8 kids during our two years in Malawi. Their youngest, Esther is just 5 months younger than Eli.

This is the last picture we have of them together in Malawi.

They were reunited last night and barely left each other's sides. Esther kept calling Eli "baby" and "Ali". They made each other laugh, chased each other around the house and ate Popsicles together.

It was great being with the Spencers again. I plan on hanging out at their house a lot with the boys this year.

The Dehnerts in America

We had so much fun tonight catching up with our good friends Kelly and Connie Dehnert. We served together with them for two years at ABC in Malawi. Their family has been home this summer both for the wedding of their oldest daughter and to take a class at Covenant here in St. Louis. They head back in August for one more year at ABC before going on furlough. It was such a treat to reconnect with them and hear about what God has been doing in Malawi since we've been gone. I'm so glad Kelly is taking online classes with Covenant because it means we will probably be seeing them again soon.

After a great dinner, we made a trip to Ted Drewes for dessert. Elijah enjoyed jumping off the trash can into dada's arms while I enjoyed my hot fudge frozen custard. Every time I go there, I ask myself "why don't I come here all the time???". It really is amazing stuff! It's almost as good as being out of the house with a partially potty trained boy who stayed dry the entire time.

Mercy

Both NPR and the NY Times announced that Malawi's president, Bingu wa Mutharika, pardoned the couple that was found guilty of homosexuality. I think the pressures from other countries got him thinking. Malawi can't afford to lose support from the West. Either way, I am thankful he did it. I truly believe 14 years was extremely harsh.

It will be interesting to see what happens next. In the article, it's clear he still believes homosexuality to be against the law in Malawi. I wonder if this situation will spur him on to create new laws or revise old ones. The quote below shows that Bingu was just being merciful.

“I have done this on humanitarian grounds but this does not mean that I support this".

I will continue to pray that God will have mercy on Malawi and their law makers and enforcers. They need wisdom, but only God will be able to judge the hearts of man, and I believe he will.

Progress and evil

Just recently in Blantyre, Malawi, Magistrate Nyakwawa Usiwa Usiwa sentenced two young men to 14 years in prison. What were they guilty of? Homosexuality. This NY Times article covers the story which includes loud criticism from the West. England is urging Malawi (and other African countries) to protect human rights. The problem is, homosexuality is not a right in Malawi. This was their response:

''Maximum sentences are intended for use for worst cases,'' Magistrate Nyakwawa Usiwa Usiwa said as he delivered his sentence. ''We are sitting here to represent the Malawi society which I do not believe is ready at this point in time to see its sons getting married to other sons or conducting engagement ceremonies.''

Betsy Chirambo, an adviser to President Bingu wa Mutharika, expressed concern over calls by some activists for the West to withdraw aid to Malawi because of the case. Up to 40 percent of Malawi's development budget comes from foreign donors.

''It is not our culture for a man to marry a man,'' Chirambo said this week. ''That is not even in our constitution. Some of these rights are not good for our culture.''

Honestly, as a Christian, I believe that homosexuality is a sin. It is not what God intended for his creation. HOWEVER, I do NOT see how homosexuality could deserve 14 years in prison-especially a prison in Malawi. I've been there. I have seen how terrible the conditions are. Those prisons (and most other prisons) should be for set aside only as punishment for true crimes against others in your community. There are numerous things the Bible calls sinful, many of them are punishable by imprisonment but still many are not.

Dan and I talked about this a bit today. I can't get it out of my mind, those young men being sent to prison. Dan made a good point-things like this really raise some questions: What is law? Is it simply protection against hurting each other in a society or is it our measurement for morality as well? How do you measure morality?? As Christians, how do we hold to our beliefs while also observing the law and when do we (or should we ever) fight against the law in faith? In this case, Malawi is super conservative, yet they are still debating where they stand morally on the subject of polygamy. It confuses me that a government can say having multiple wives is totally fine, but a man having a boyfriend is absolutely out of the question.

There is so much I could say about this. Really, my heart is sad. I have no idea what is right or what should be done. Homosexuality is against the law in Malawi, so maybe those guys shouldn't have had a public engagement party. Still, I am almost positive it is wrong to send someone to jail for this. I can't help but dwell on images of those prisons, the lack of food and water and the living conditions. All I can do is pray for these two young men as well as the nation of Malawi. They all need the wisdom that is from above, not that which is flawed and found in humans.

Banning Polygamy in Malawi

This morning, I was so happy to read an article about polygamy being banned in Malawi. Even though it isn't final yet, I was encouraged to see that it is being seriously considered. Imran Shareef Muhammed, secretary general of the Muslim Association of Malawi, is very upset about this. He believes that a definite result from the ban will be a rise in prostitution. This frustrates me, as I truly believe a lot of women in polygamous relationships are already in dangerous situations, very similar to prostitution in fact. The ban will not affect those who are already have multiple wives (or share their husband) but it will stop new marriages from happening.

Even though I believe polygamy is wrong, I would be concerned for women if marriages were suddenly dissolved. Many of them would have no where to go. But the argument that women would turn to prostitution without polygamy as an option-that's just frustrating. The tragedy of prostitution is way more complicated than that. If the ban goes through, there is no doubt the people of Malawi will be affected in a major way, both negatively and positively. There is also no doubt that many women will be saved from a lifetime of abuse and neglect.

What do you think??

Book Review: The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind

Before I tell you what I think about this story, I will let William tell you about it himself. (Notice near the end-William is sporting an ABCCA t-shirt!!)

I got this book for Christmas and couldn't wait to get started. Still, it took me a while to finish another novel before I could pick this one up. I'm not a two-timer. I have to read one book at a time. Finally, I cracked open the cover and quickly committed all of my free time to the pages.

The book opens with stories of his father and mother. William Kamkwamba paints a beautiful picture of Malawi and the people there. He describes the culture one story at a time. It only took seconds for me to sink into this book, often ignoring house work and phone calls and staying up way too late. The words came to life in my head, bringing back all the memories of Malawi that I hold onto with a tight fist. At times while reading, I wanted to tell William "it's okay, you don't have to explain that 100 kwacha is not a lot of money" and so on. I understood his language and knew what we was talking about. I could picture his house, his school, his clothing. I felt like I had been there.

After a good number of chapters, things become serious as William describes life during the drought of 2001. This section was difficult for me to read through without crying. It was so real, so devastating and I couldn't help but think of my friends who also suffered through it. The drought is what kept William out of school and in the fields. When there was nothing left to grow or harvest, William spent his time in a "library" reading anything he could to keep up with his fellow classmates. From then on, the story of the windmill unfolds. It gets pretty technical at times but was still interesting to hear exactly what it took to create such a work of art.

Near the end of the book, William writes about his experience at a TED conference. He was invited to speak about his windmill but still spoke very poor English:

"After I drop out from school, I went to library and I read a book, that one-Using Energy, and I get information about windmill and I try and I make."

Below is the interview. It's really only 4 minutes long with a 2 minute commercial at the end.

"I try and I make" became the theme of the conference that weekend. Everyone was so impressed with William and his heart and determination to bring change to his village through power. Since then, William has not only brought electricity to his home, but has also brought water closer to his home, saving his mother and sisters hours of walking time each day. This idea can truly change the way of life for many Africans, not just in Malawi.

Although I never spent time with William, we have many mutual friends through the African Bible College Christian Academy. It was fun to read about my friends and William's experience at ABCCA. I felt proud to have been a part of it and proud to have ever known Malawi. I pray that William continues in his work toward changing his village and bringing hope to his people. It really is such an exciting thing!

Malawi in the news

My GOOGLE Reader has been providing me with some new through the BBC on Malawi. These articles leave much to be desired, but at least keep me updated. I thought I would share them with you and see what you think. As usual, I already have my opinions about how I feel, but am always interested to hear thoughts from others.

Villagers move for Madonna

Madonna breaks ground

Madonna's organization is called Raising Malawi: an orphan care initiative

I will always be torn about what Madonna is doing in Malawi. I love her heart for the orphaned and forgotten. She sets a great example for many and raises ton of awareness for this little country I have come to love. However, I almost never agree with how she goes about her work while in Malawi. There always seems to be a catch, a sad story which has been pushed to the background and covered up with wads of cash. I guess I am thankful for what she has done, but more thankful that I am not the judge. What a relief!

Am I of noble character???

I learned so much from my African mama friends in Malawi. Their dedication to their families (no matter the sacrifice) was humbling to me. They had real reasons to worry for their children, but had faith that God would always provide, and He always did. Every time I began to complain about my lack of sleep, feeling under appreciated, or over worked, I would quickly feel sick with guilt the moment I saw an African woman. I will probably never know what it is like to physically pour myself out for my children.

Beyond learning about sacrifice, I also learned about contentment. I visited homes that had no kitchen, no bathroom and one bed inside one bedroom for four people. These moms had no dishwashers or bottle warmers, no potty seats with a matching book, no swings or bouncy seats and definitely nothing with the name "Fisher Price" across it. Were they missing out? Were their children unhappy? No, not at all. In fact, their children smiled, laughed and played together more than most kids I know here in the States. Were the mother's lives a little harder?? SURE! The comforts and conveniences offered to us through TARGET and Babies R Us were unknown to them. They got creative or they made without.

I remember one day showing my friend Christina one of those compact sponges from Trader Joes that "grows" when you add water to it. She thought it was a miracle and shouted "America has thought of EVERYTHING!". It was hilarious but also eye opening. We live in a place where we can have almost everything we want, and it will make our lives easier.

I did a Beth Moore bible study last year. She's not my favorite, but it was a good study and I took one big thing away from it that I hope never to forget: We live in a modern day Babylon. We can have whatever we want and can do whatever we want. Compared to the rest of the world, we are spoiled with options. We live in a culture that breeds consumerism. Every holiday is clouded by it, even Easter! Parenting books and magazines convince us that we need the stuff in order to do things right, to keep our children healthy and safe. There is no escaping it, but there is resisting it. Beth Moore would say "Just because we can, doesn't mean we should!".

I believe that as a Christian wife and mother living in such a culture, it is my responsibility to pray for wisdom. I need to pray for strength to resist all the things that promise to make my life easier and happier as a mother. I don't want to be driven by fear and indulge in all the monitors, medicines and protectors. We don't NEED that stuff, we just need to teach our children and be attentive mothers. I want to be like the wife of noble character in Proverbs 31.

Proverbs 31-The wife of noble character

¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

¹² She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

¹³ She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.

¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.

¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark;

she provides food for her family

and portions for her servant girls.

¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;

out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night.

¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor

and extends her hands to the needy.

²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

²² She makes coverings for her bed;

she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

She is hospitable and merciful. She probably would need to make sacrifices in order to help the poor and needy, maybe passing by an item in the market and providing a meal instead. I would add to what Beth Moore says about not giving in, though. I don't think we are evil for wanting things for our children. The wife of noble character works hard and cares for her family. Verse 21 says that she clothes her household in scarlet and she herself is clothed in fine linen and purple. She is providing nice things for her family, the best that she can. My mama friends in Malawi did the same. I want to be able to discern between a need and a want. We can live without all the stuff and still be great mothers and teachers, maybe even better!

Preparing for baby number two is not quite as stressful as getting ready for the first. With my first, I wanted to be ready for anything-spills, spit ups, fevers, rashes, growth spurts, seasonal changes, or anything that might be uncomfortable for my baby or myself either during or after the pregnancy. Not only did I want to be ready, but I wanted to be in style! Wow-it's embarrassing to look back. Thankfully, God knows me and protected me from indulging by making me spend my first year as a mother in Malawi. I could only send a few boxes and bring a little with me. He graciously hindered me from having all that I wanted and I learned so much from it.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love design. I love shopping and I love coordinating outfits on little boys. If it weren't for the grace of God, I would be no where near having a noble character as a wife and mother. But God loves me and is showing me (child by child) that I have all I need in His son. I can do without, and in most cases, our family will be happier for it. I am praying for all you new moms out there (mostly in Seattle, yay!!!).

"Be sober minded, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

1 Peter 5:8

Let's not give in to the devil. Let's be awake and watchful looking out for him and the opportunities he brings us to be foolish with our time and resources. We could give in all day long, but that doesn't mean we should.

Wait-Where am I??

Today has been a strange day, and it's only noon. It's the kind of day that made me ask the question "where am I? Am I still in Malawi?". After the first year of living in Malawi, I got used to leaving my house with a very flexible attitude, never knowing what might happen that day and being prepared for anything. I always had extra food, money and clothes for Eli. I almost expected something to happen and was surprised if I returned home in a timely fashion having gotten all of my errands done.

I hate to admit it, but I think I left that flexible attitude in Malawi. Things in America run so smoothly. The traffic lights always work. If there is a parade, you will know about it ahead of time and drive around it on side streets. ATMs always have money in them and the electricity rarely goes out. If there is a problem with anything, you can bet that someone is working on it and it will be fixed, fast. Things just don't get in your way. You make your list in the morning and by nap time, everything gets done. It's magical!

This morning, my car died at the bank. I couldn't get a hold of Dan and my phone was dying. The car thing got figured out with the help of a wonderful friend and neighbor and I was able to use her phone to communicate with Dan and others. When I finally got home, I wanted to do a load of laundry. When I opened the basement door, a big fat black bird was staring me in the eyes threatening to invade my house. Thankfully I slammed the door before it was able to peck my eyes out.

These things rarely happened to me in Malawi, well except for the bird...remember the bat? Still, it felt frustrating to finally have an open day to get things done, but not being able to do anything because of circumstances. It is a good reminder that we really are not in control of our lives. We have NO idea what the Lord might bring us each day, and we should be ready for anything without complaint. It's easier to do this in Malawi, because anyone in their right mind cannot expect things to go smoothly. In America, I am fooled by all the details magically working out according to plan. Whether in America or Malawi, I want to be flexible. I want to have a steady heart that is not swayed by things outside of my control. Perhaps today was especially hard because of hormones...but that's for another blog post.

Pray for gas shortage in Malawi

I wanted to ask you all to pray for Malawi right now. There is a huge gasoline and diesel shortage in the country. You can read about it at my friend Amy's blog. She even includes a great picture of the lines often seen at fill stations.

I know how frustrating it is to sit in a line for more than an hour just to get a half a tank. It is also incredibly frustrating to not be able to do your work because you cannot go anywhere! Please pray for my missionary friends dealing with such a huge problem in a different culture. Tempers can easily get lost in situations like this, but we always hope these times will create opportunities for grace and patience.