8 Ball

Ahh, the magic 8 ball. I remember playing with those in middle school, asking it the age old questions about pre-teen romances and my imminent future. I always knew it was a joke, but don't we all wish it were real? Even if the answer was "maybe", it still felt good to be given some hope, despite the fact that it comes from a mass produced game!

I wish there really was such a thing that could just tell me "Hey Bethany, don't stress it. Baby will be here by Sunday afternoon. So go out shopping with your sisters and get pedicures and live it up!". Wouldn't that be nice??

On Halloween afternoon, we frantically threw the boys in some last minute costumes. Lazarus was going to be the most adorable fireman, but backed out last minute. We threw him his blankie, named him Linus and called it good. Elijah scored an awesome Optimus Prime costume (at half off day!) at Goodwill but it didn't come with a mask. Thankfully, mama's got killer face painting skills. Funny thing is, I actually found (and purchased) a real Optimus Prime transformers mask yesterday at a kid's consignment shop-day late and a dollar short I suppose.

And I went as an 8 ball.

We had fun walking around downtown Bellingham, popping into shops and getting free candy. Yesterday, the ladies and the little lads went down to the boardwalk for some exercise in the cool fall air. Walking seems to help things start up, but it's not quite time yet. We're having a blast together though! If nothing else, this week has been a really fun time with my family!!!

Killin' Time

We're just killin' time here, waiting on a baby to come!

We've been thrifting....

 Walking around town looking cool...

Visiting the beach....

Even drove up to Mount Baker for some fresh air!

Hiking through the woods...

Just waitin' on this dang baby to COME OUT!!!!!

FULL TERM!

37 weeks gestation is considered to be "full term" by doctors. It's the week we all hope we can reach in pregnancy. Still, there's nothing FULL about being 37 weeks. I know so many women who have gone all the way to 42 weeks (ouch!). Now THAT'S full.

Right now, I'm 40ish weeks and feeling pre-tty full. I expected to carry this girl differently than the boys, but it seems as though my body does one thing - watermelon straight out front. My mom/midwife has arrived from TN, my sisters are on their way and I'm ready to have this baby!!

3rd Trimester = Beautiful

There are so many stages throughout pregnancy. Many of them include feeling bloated, chubby, sick to your stomach, gassy, among other things. Even though the 3rd trimester is considered the least comfortable of all 4 trimesters (yes, there is a 4th: post partum-yuck!), it's when I feel most beautiful. My belly is nice and round and it's painfully obvious to everyone that I am with child. No mistaking it, no awkward looks, just total acceptance.

36ish weeks

People smile at me as they walk past, knowing that new life is about to enter the world. Women of other cultures ask to touch and pray for the baby (I've never had a Caucasian American do this to me). I feel blessed, like I've been given a precious jewel to protect and keep safe.

38 weeks

When she moves and my belly ripples, I'm the only one who notices. We share secrets this way.

The 3rd trimester is filled with annoying aches and ailments but it's the last hurrah. Just a few feet before the finish line where everyone is cheering you on. The excitement is unbearable!

We aren't sure if my due month will be October or November. We're hoping she holds on until my mom and sisters arrive this weekend, but we'll see. I carried both boys for 40 weeks and 1 day (according to the dates). Will baby sister follow in line or dance to the beat of her own drum?

A Big Sigh of Relief!

So far, the month of September has been one long sigh of relief. Looking ahead to this month brought on many questions and with that, some stress and anxiety. Will Dan pass all of his ordination exams? Can we afford another ultrasound to see if my placenta has moved? Will we see that it has moved, eliminating the need for a scheduled c-section? Slowly but surely, each week has brought clarity, answers to prayer and hope.

Baby is doing well and we are looking forward to a low-risk and healthy homebirth next month. Dan successfully passed all of his written and oral exams and will officially be an ordained Presbyterian minister next week.

(his oral exams were hard, but he did great!)

We enjoyed 3 nights in Seattle, exploring our old stomping grounds with the kids, dinner with friends and family and finally wrapping up our seminary stage of life for good.

(the boys outside our favorite Thai restaurant)

Dan's mom had the boys for Thursday night and all day Friday. After a great morning at Presbytery, Dan and I walked around Ballard, enjoyed warm drinks and the fall yellow trees of the city. Dan celebrated with oyster happy hour, too!

We kept warm by baking cookies with grammy.

Prayers both big and small have been answered and we're feeling ready for October! I'm hoping next month brings us our little baby girl!!

34 (ish) weeks

I've been asked a lot of questions with all of my pregnancies, but lately, they've been coming like crazy! Funny thing is, they are pretty much the same questions. Here are some of my answers:

It's not a boy.

It's not my first baby.

It's not a basketball.

It's not a watermelon.

No, it's not my due date.

No, only one baby is in there.

Elijah:

"Let's see how the belly is mom." (stands back and looks me up and down)

"Woohoo! That girl is getting good. And. BIG!"

Everyone asks how I am feeling:

Sleep is hard, but that's normal.

The dreams are getting weird. I give birth to strange animals all the time.

My pee schedule coincides with my breathing schedule.

The aches in my back and legs start up around 2pm and by 4, I'm waddling.

Honestly though, things are great! I'm growing my baby girl and couldn't be more thrilled!

Jealous of those zzzzzzz's

Feeling a little bit jealous of Lazzy's ability to sleep anywhere, anytime.

dining room floor

blow up mattress in the living room

mommy and daddy's bed  /  St. Louis downtown water park

 

friend's bathroom floor / riding in the car

 

the back yard

the basement (during a tornado warning, sirens and hail and all)

Lazarus, teach me your ways oh sleepy one!

The third trimester is notorious for being a tired one. I always thought it was because you get bigger and your body hurts and it just takes so much energy to develop that little baby inside. But now, I'm convinced it's because sleeping at night is near impossible. 32 pee breaks in 8 hours means a lot of interrupted dreams! For some strange reason, when I roll to my right side, baby girl perks up and kicks to high heaven until I roll back to my left side. Why the heck is that?

I've always slept better with a newborn than during the third trimester and although I do NOT want her coming early, I'm hoping the days just fly by.

What I Wore Wednesday!

I'm back y'all! With the help of Ross (dress for less!), I've got a few blouses to carry me through this last trimester. I really had no idea that Ross had a maternity section until I read about it on another blog. I've gotten a few things there for real cheap, mainly cotton t-shirt type tops, all under $6. Another maternity shopping tip - check out their dress section. There are so many empire waist styles that are perfect for that growing belly!

At this point, it's almost painful spending money on maternity clothes because I'm nearing the end and then what? But most of the tops I buy can be worn in the postpartum months. And the pants, you'd better believe I'll be sporting those after baby comes!

{You're welcome in advance for the amazing picture quality}

The blouse is from Ross and was $11.99. The slacks are H&M (only $7 in the clearance section!).

I also got my hair trimmed the other day, which always make me feel better.

This is my new date night/dinner with friends/Sunday morning go-to outfit. Woohoo! Thank you Ross!!!

30 weeks!!! (ish)

I'm about 30 weeks (ish) and some days (although measuring a bit on the bigger side...yikes!) and feeling the third trimester like heck. By 11am, I'm ready for my 2 hour nap and 7pm is MY bedtime. Kids, put yourselves to bed already!!

The picture below pretty much proves I'm a tired old lady. Since moving to Bellingham, I've adopted the local attire - jeans, Birkenstocks and usually a black or gray top. To my credit, I don't have many options right now. No make-up, side pony...that's the way I roll.

I also LOVE my non-maternity brown sweatshirt jacket (from Buffalo exchange in Seattle) and my $7 H&M maternity jeans. Crossing my fingers and hoping they fit me till the end!!

This pregnancy has truly been a joy, though. I'm healthy, baby is doing great and the boys are over the moon about baby sister coming out to play. Sure, I can't bend over without grunting and the aches and pains started before I even took that pregnancy test, but I'm growing a female and that is seriously something I will never take for granted!

Take the Long Way Home

The moving truck came on Tuesday. Everything is packed up, the apartment is clean and we've had our goodbye party. It's time to go!!!

Today, we drive away from our St. Louis home and begin the long journey out west. We start with a week in Nashville for my little sister's wedding.

We've got family in Alabama, friends in Baton Rouge and Austin, and since we love testing our two boys, we decided to camp a million nights in the desert until we wander into our new hometown in the great North West.

Clearly we chose the shortest direct route from St. Louis, MO to Bellingham, WA.

If the map is followed carefully and everyone sticks to schedule, it should take us 12 days (leaving from Nashville next week). Too bad I'll be stopping to pee every 17 minutes, pushing our arrival date back to sometime after the baby is born in the middle of Montana.

Wish us luck!!!

It's A ......

Human Baby!!


{hoping for another thumb sucker!}

This week, our family got to see the new baby via ultrasound. It was so so sweet to see it moving around! Another little person, growing and taking shape. Things get very real at this point in pregnancy. The kicks become harder, the hiccups are felt from the inside and you are reminded of the miracle of life.

This time around, we decided not to find out the gender. Believe me, it's not easy for me to have a person growing inside my body and not know who the heck it is. I loved knowing my boys in advance, naming them and connecting with them in that way. But this time, I really wanted the experience of surprise at the very end.

Until.....

We went to our ultrasound appointment. A dear friend from church actually did a nice long appointment with us (complete with 8 printed pictures! that must be a record!). Dan and I then decided we did want to find out! It was too hard to be looking at the baby with the boys and not know who it was! Thankfully, our friend was able to see from multiple angles that baby is indeed

A GIRL!!!!!!

Dan and I were both in shock. It took a while for me to really trust our friend, but I could see for myself. It's a baby girl!!! That explains the horrible first 13 weeks, filled with lots of vomiting and 4 naps a day.

God has changed my views on family planning over the last year and I'm genuinely excited to add another human to our family, no matter the gender. But, it's pretty great that God decided to gift me a girl :)

What I Wore - 14 Weeks

Well, I'm almost 14 weeks and am feeling much better. I'm in shock because it took 16 weeks to feel better with either of the boys. My energy is still low and I'm craving bagels like mad! I've definitely gained some weight already (not sure how much...) but being pregnant in America is so awesome!! Mac & Cheese at your finger tips. ALL. THE. TIME. I've converted to Annie's Organic-it makes me feel better about the large quantities I inhale on a weekly basis.

Elijah is home from school now (more on that later) so we're off to the Botanical Gardens today!

This hat was an awesome find. Our local Goodwill gets loads of new merch from Target that didn't sell. This hat was only $3!! I love the shade it provides for my fair skinned face and the wind has yet to knock it off my head. Love it!!

Outfit details:

Hat : Goodwill, $3; Mossimo

Necklace : I made it :)

Dress : Goodwill (in Chicago), $4; Motherhood Maternity

{I bought it and wore it often with a belt and cardigan and boots this winter. I'm happy to be wearing it as a true maternity dress, now!}

Sandals : Walmart (last summer), $9

What I Wore - Making Room

Cardigan : Goodwill, $1; Merona

Blouse : GAP Clearance, $4

Necklace : Made by me :)

Stretchy pants (yes, they're maternity!) : Kangaroo Kids (a local resale shop for kids and expecting mamas), $9; Brand unknown

Most comfortable Black Flats EVER: Payless, $15 (with coupon)

Total : $29

 This little blouse was such a great find. I usually wear it with a belt, but these days, I'm thankful for the extra room! You just can't beat teal polka dots AND ruffles!!

Getting dressed is such a challenge these days! I'm just thankful for the warmer weather now that I've got my little stretchy pants and comfy flats. I just switch out a roomy blouse and call it good. First trimester is almost over but I have a nagging feeling the crummy belly pains will not disappear for a while.

First Trimester Favorites

How I get through the first trimester:

-B-6/B-12/Folic Acid dissolving tablets : Trader Joe's has an inexpensive under the tongue vitamin that tastes fruity. I don't know about you, but those prenatal horse pills just ain't going down during the first trimester. Problem is, folic acid is very important for early fetal development and the B vitamins help with energy and nausea. Thank you TJ's for helping a mama out!

Juice/Vitamin Water : Regular water seems to make me feel very ill.

SLEEP : The first few weeks of my pregnancy were spent waking at midnight and 3am to feed our newborn foster baby. Those days were the absolute worst! I remember one day while driving, I thought I didn't have my glasses on because everything was out of focus. These days, I'm usually able to grab a nap and I sleep about 12-14 hours a night. It really helps with my nausea!

These two boys make me pretty happy and are usually a wonderful distraction from my belly aches.

Books and Shows! : Like a sick person, I need to be distracted by my illness. The more quiet a room is, the more aware I am of my aching belly. This year, I am committed to reading through the Bible chronologically so I've got plenty of reading to do each day! Favorite shows lately are Nashville and Project Runway (both on Hulu!).

Strawberries! : Every morning, I wake up and eat a few strawberries. They're so delicious and really help me to feel better.

Anyone have an amazing secret to fighting the first trimester woes?

Full Disclosure

It's Wednesday. Again. And there's no outfit.

I suppose now's a good time to give my lame excuse for not getting dressed everyday, let alone in an amazingly cheap and thrifted outfit.

Yup, you guessed it.

We're having another baby!!!

We found out back when I was spending those late night hours feeding a newborn (very conflicting for my emotional and physical state!). I was feeling so incredibly ill those last few weeks with baby J. We miss him terribly, but the timing of his departure couldn't have been better. I physically couldn't care for a newborn baby around the clock while feeling so sick.

I'm nearing the end of my first trimester and by far, this pregnancy is the hardest I've dealt with. The last few weeks have been spent with me in bed and my children ruling the roost. Thankfully, Elijah is old enough to understand why I'm feeling so rotten and is actually quite helpful, when he's not pouring honey all over the playroom.

I've had good intentions of posting some first trimester outfits for y'all, but I rarely get dressed anymore unless it's for church, then I'm back in my leggings and sweatshirt once I get home. 

Y'all, it's been so bad, I've been wearing my long winter coat as a dress to basically cover my pajamas!! I won't be able to pull that off much longer now that the weather is getting warmer!

THE Birth Story

There are a few documentaries out there about natural childbirth and the decline in America's maternal healthcare. They each have something different to offer as the writers all have slightly different intentions behind their voices. Even though I don't always agree with what's being said, I appreciate that people are working hard to bring attention to such an important issue through film. That said, I am so excited about Birth Story, a new film documenting Ina May Gaskin and other midwives on The Farm. 

Ina May's story is crazy, but it's empowering. I do not think every woman should have their baby at home, or even yet, on The Farm. BUT, I do think the mystery and beauty of birth has been stripped away by most hospital settings and medical professionals. Fear is what drives women, doctors and nurses to make decisions about their births and that is a sad and dangerous thing. Women are beginning to take back what is rightfully theirs-the choice to birth the way God intended it. It's just sad that in most cases, this has to become a fight. I am excited to see how Birth Story will impact women all over America.

Please watch the above clip (which includes the trailer) and consider pledging whatever you can to help make this movie a success.

"Anything you can give will help us birth this film—it’s an exciting time for independent documentaries and also a challenging one—funding sources have dried up and the market is harder than ever, especially for women-centered films. But we believe the time is right to present a movie that celebrates women and their bodies, that honors what we can accomplish when we work together in community, and that shows childbirth the way we never see it in the mainstream media—unadorned, unabashed, and awe-inspiring."

--Sara Lamm and Mary Wigmore, Birth Story Filmmakers 

On another note, a client (and dear friend!) delivered her second child last night. I'm feeling kind of sentimental, which you should know is rare. This particular client/friend's first birth story is the reason I finally jumped all in and got trained as a doula. I remember driving home from her first birth just 15 months ago and making the conscious decision to finally stop talking about it and become a doula.  I am so grateful for her courage and willingness to face the unknowns of childbirth again and couldn't be more proud of her as a fierce laborer and tender mother. The more I work with expectant mothers, the more I am convinced that this is what I was born to do.

Why midwifery? Why homebirth?

A few weeks ago, my dula asked me to explain why I chose a homebirth. Linsey has just become a CPM (certified professional midwife) and is working on her new website. Instead of trying to explain the beauty of homebirth from her perspective, Linsey asked her clients to share theirreasons for choosing homebirth. My answer is among a dozen others. It was difficult for me to keep my response short while also explain why homebirth and midwifery were so important to me. This is what I said:

Growing up, I had the priveledge of learning about midwifery and birthing at home through my mother who is a midwife. I saw first hand the amazing benefits of having your baby at home while being cared for by a loving, nurturing woman who was also completely prepared medically. I was intrigued by the close relationships my mother had with her clients and decided at a young age that I wanted my birthing experiences to be about life, community and relationship. Hospitals rarely enter into those things. Like most unknowns in life, birth can be scary. I chose to have a homebirth because I believe that midwives are committed to walk along side you throughout the entire experience, facing each of your fears, challenges and accomplishments as if they were their own. -Bethany

Recently, two of my friends had the opportunity to express their thoughts on midwifery. Jessica and Blythe had a midwife care for them during their pregnancies, even though they had completely different birthing plans. Jessica had a homebirth in the water and Blythe delivered in the hospital with the request of an epidural. I think it's important to know that midwives are very qualified to safely bring lives into the world. I also believe they are more intentional and sensitive about how they do it, always with the mothers wants and needs in focus. This video was created by Cindie Brown and her partners at Midwife Seattle. Cindie was my sister's midwife and has given wonderful care to a number of my friends and their babies in Seattle.

(Jessica's baby boy Ivo is the first one you see-so smiley! Blythe's baby Penelope is the baby girl with the big brown eyes. I cried when I saw them!)

Still not convinced? I have no idea what else I could say! But seriously, I have the highest respect for midwives and love praising them at any chance I get.

Happy due date Lazarus!

Today is my due date. I am so thankful we made it this far!! Lazarus is doing really well and is active as ever. Last week, I was in the self-check out line at Walmart when I heard the supervisor shouting from 50 feet away "Uh, mam-you're gonna need to scan that ball you got under there!" to which I replied "Oh-are you trying to be funny?". He turned out to be really nice and of course had all sorts of advice and comments for me. I do enjoy all the opportunities my belly has given me to talk with perfect strangers, but I might be reaching my limit soon.

My mom and dad were able to come up from Nashville on Friday night. I am SO thankful that all the timing worked out so that my personal doctor could be here for the birth. I've had almost two weeks of contractions, most of them have been Braxton Hicks, but lately, they've picked up. At night, I have really strong ones any time I move or get up to go to the bathroom. Usually by morning, they have stopped. This morning however, they've continued and are closer together (5-10 minutes apart). Still, they are weak.

My plan is to enjoy my family (including my sister Sally and her two kids who came in from Indy) and take it one day at a time. I know now that there is no point in rushing things and stressing out. The baby has to come out sometime, right?

Today, we are all going to church and then hope to take our usual pre-labor shopping trip at Old Navy. My dad's theory is that if we make a lot of plans (or perhaps buy tickets to something), then the baby will come. Let's see if he is right.

Go Go Gadget Belly

Just when I think my belly cannot stretch any more, it does! I mean, look at the point on that thing! This grey shirt is one of the three that I have that still fit over my belly. Good thing Laz is coming out soon!

Here I am days before my due date with Elijah.

Last week at church, I got stuck in a bathroom stall. I was able to get in, but opening the door and squeezing through that small space was nearly impossible. Granted, the stalls are small, but still! I almost had to call for back up! Soon, very soon I will be freed of this basket ball. Only 5 more days, give or take a few.