Parents Say the Darndest Things!

Over the last few months, Dan and I have found ourselves saying (out loud) the weirdest things. Of course, in the midst of the moment, everything makes perfect sense, but the phrases alone are hilarious!

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Lazarus was sticking his fuzzy in his nose one day in the Target check out line. I caught him doing this and said :

"Oh Lazzy, that's yucky. Put it in your ear."

It wasn't until I saw the look on the checker's face that I realized how stupid I must have sounded. She didn't know that fuzzies in his ear were a totally normal and regular thing in our family!

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Elijah was trying to have his cake and eat it too while getting dressed. I heard myself say:

"Drop the balloon and focus on your PANTS!"

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The boys have been punching themselves in the eye non-stop. Not sure when it began, but it's caught on like wild fire and I find myself saying things like this:

"Hey boys, please wait until after dinner to punch out your eye balls."

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Dan has been on a roll lately, too. Something about the third trimester makes him really funny.

While discussing the intricacies of a woman's body and childbirth, Dan says "i'm happy to be a man. lady work is HARD WORK!"
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We were looking at pictures of our friend's new baby girl. I got all excited about our baby girl coming soon and started chatting about it. "We're gonna have a little girl soon, too! Can you believe it? I'm getting really excited!"

Dan responded : "yeah, I know. I don't want to talk about it."

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Dan walks into the room, sees a baby carrier and says "wow, we have a baby coming! so you're serious about this pregnancy thing....."

He might need a little more time....

My Favs - The Toddler Years

Most seasoned moms have figured out the secrets to parenting their specific child via trial and error. I assure you, many different sippy cup brands were damaged and lost until the right one was found and then used religiously. Strollers, car seats, wipes, puffs - we all have our preferences. For me, when it comes to babies, less is more. Better yet, whatever my older sister or sweet mama friends are willing to give me is what I end up with. Still, I have my list of things I LOVE using, especially while traveling with young children.

I know I've got a baby on the way, but this is my list of favorite things for the toddler/pre-school years. Finding these items were less about trying each brand and coming to my own conclusion, but rather seeing these items used in other households and wondering "why the heck haven't we thought of this!!".

It's not an extensive list, but it's the items I'm loving right now.

8 inch timer clock

We saw this clock at a friend's house while traveling over the summer. I know that good parenting books say to always give a few warnings to your children before shaking things up so they can prepare for the change. Problem is, kids don't understand the concept of time yet! Our five minute/three minute/one minute warnings went nowhere. Fits continued and then we found ourselves arguing about how long a minute really is and, well, it was horrible.

Since getting this timer, our day runs so smoothly. Especially now that we homeschool, I need the boys to be able to complete tasks (breakfast, getting dressed, quiet time, etc.) in certain amounts of time. The visual is great for all ages, too!

Balance Bike! 

We got ours for $7 at a garage sale and has probably been the best $7 spent on my kids, eva! The one pictured above is $70, but I'm sure these go for much cheaper on craigslist as they've gotten pretty popular over the years. Here are my 3 reasons why I prefer a balance bike to a pedal bike with training wheels:

1. The balance bike teaches your child to balance (duh). In my opinion, this is the hardest thing to learn when riding a bike. 

2. Balance bikes go ssssllllowwwwww. I love this because I need to be able to keep up with my toddler who has no fear of moving vehicles whatsoever. The tortoise speed is just right for little ones who are learning both how to ride AND how to be safe while "on the road".

3. Training wheels are wobbly! I remember learning to ride a bike with training wheels and I never felt in control. It brought more fear than comfort. Sure, I learned how to ride without the trainers, but I think learning to balance makes the transition much easier. It took Eli about 2 days to learn to ride a pedal bike!

Converse Chuck Taylor All Star High-Tops for kids

These are THE best shoes for kids. Seriously, they hold up well, the dark colors hide the dirt, and the velcro makes them easy to pull on and slip off. They also fit well on both Elijah's skinny long feet and Lazzy's short fat feet. Again - velcro! My mom has always bought these for the boys, but I do know you can get them at Kohl's. Google them and you'll find lots of options.

Puddle Jumper arm and chest floaties (we got ours at Aldi for $6.99!)

These floaties really work! The chest part doesn't cut into your child's neck and it's impossible for them to end up face down for any length of time. Believe me, Lazarus has tried. I am so thankful for this invention, because it means I can sit on the beach while my kids swim happily. Win win!!

TempleTouch Review and GIVEAWAY!

I can count on one hand the amount of times my boys have been feverish. It's so rare, we actually did not own a thermometer until recently! I had to buy a cheap Target brand thermometer for one of our foster babies who came to us with a high fever. I was never really sure if it worked or if the reading was accurate. It's one thing to be relaxed about your own children's illnesses but the pressure is on when taking care of children who are not your own!

You can imagine my relief when I received a fancy-schmancy Temple Touch thermometer. Finally, I'm a real mom with the right tools and quality equipment to help me do my job! And just in time for baby number three.

Those poky thermometers are THE worst. You know you've been there: middle of the night with a screaming baby, and you're trying to get that stick of a thing inside the sleep sack, through the tiny neck hole and under a chubby arm. Yes! You're in! But now, you've got to wait 10-30 seconds until you hear the beeps of freedom ring (they need an "ultra loud" option so you can hear the beeps above all the screaming!). Then, the inevitable happens. Baby squirms our of your grasp, the stick is stuck in the sleep sack, and now you're fishing for it while it's beeping at you and baby is crying and.....

I'd rather not, thank you. The Temple Touch is really super simple and works great on any aged child, whether asleep or awake. It's so quick, you can literally sneak up on your child and get a good temperature read before they can say "mama, poo poo doggy toots!" (because my kids say stuff like that all the time...).

Here are a few more sophisticated reasons why this thermometer rocks:

TempleTouch by Medisim

AWARD-WINNING! TempleTouch Premium:

-  So popular that one is sold every minute in the US; available in thousands of retail locations

-  Family friendly, safe and gentle enough to use a on sleeping newborn

-  Clinically Accurate (Meets ASTM Accuracy requirements)

-  TWO Measurement Locations: Temple AND Underarm

-  Instant measurement, only 6 – 8 seconds

-  Does not cross-contaminate germs across family members

-  Also displays room temperature (see video on how to get a room reading)

-  Large and easy to read back-lighted LCD

-  Over Dose Protective Timer (ODPT®) helps remind you of your child’s next medicine dose!

-  Memory-Recall of the last reading recorded

-  Celsius/Fahrenheit scale (see video on how to switch from one to the other)

-  Simple to operate, no scanning required

Convinced yet? Good! Now it's time for you to get yours for FREE!! Mamas, aunts, babysitters - if you're ever taking care of someone small, you'll be happy you've got this little gadget in your tool box!

To Enter:

-Simply leave a comment! You can tell me about your little ones, or give me your best "I hate those generic stick thermometers" story, just so I know I'm not alone. 

-Make sure you're following via bloglovin before you comment, too :) I'll have my kids pick a winner (because I'm an over achiever) and announce it here on the blog on June 25th.

Giveaway ends June 24th at midnight, central time. Now spread the word!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mothers Day to THE BEST mom ever. No really, yours might be nice and lovely and give you good advice and hold you when you cry. MY mom let's the grand kids climb into bed with her at 5:50am so us mamas can sleep in peace.

Moving at a Turtle's Pace

The days are long but the years are short.

I'm really feeling that phrase lately. I start my day way too early. Before noon, I've already had a nap and three breakfasts. Lazzy dresses himself and the rest of the day revolves around the rain boots. They go on, they come off. Back on again, then kicked off in a random protest about nothing. They go on again. Then, they are lost and the sky falls.

If glamour could be measured in loads of laundry, I'd be the most glamorous woman in town. I probably answer 983 questions a day. In full detail. Sometimes looking up information or videos to satisfy a certain 4 year old's curiosity.

My Etsy shop is closed. I'm not taking any new doula clients. Do you hear the crickets chirping? Life is slow and I'm still getting used to moving at a turtle's pace.

I do know that I am adored. I am loved and I am cared for, not only by my amazing husband, but by my boys.

Since the announcement of baby number three, the boys are overflowing with love and care for me. They genuinely worry about how I'm feeling! So sweet.

I'm just soaking up these long days because I know in the blink of an eye, they'll be old.

Full Disclosure

It's Wednesday. Again. And there's no outfit.

I suppose now's a good time to give my lame excuse for not getting dressed everyday, let alone in an amazingly cheap and thrifted outfit.

Yup, you guessed it.

We're having another baby!!!

We found out back when I was spending those late night hours feeding a newborn (very conflicting for my emotional and physical state!). I was feeling so incredibly ill those last few weeks with baby J. We miss him terribly, but the timing of his departure couldn't have been better. I physically couldn't care for a newborn baby around the clock while feeling so sick.

I'm nearing the end of my first trimester and by far, this pregnancy is the hardest I've dealt with. The last few weeks have been spent with me in bed and my children ruling the roost. Thankfully, Elijah is old enough to understand why I'm feeling so rotten and is actually quite helpful, when he's not pouring honey all over the playroom.

I've had good intentions of posting some first trimester outfits for y'all, but I rarely get dressed anymore unless it's for church, then I'm back in my leggings and sweatshirt once I get home. 

Y'all, it's been so bad, I've been wearing my long winter coat as a dress to basically cover my pajamas!! I won't be able to pull that off much longer now that the weather is getting warmer!

When Time Out Isn't Enough...

When your child lies to you about eating gum and the salt from the roads, when both of your offspring spread honey all over the playroom (including the rug!), when those little toots draw on the furniture with black marker, you need a good punishment!

Time out just isn't enough people!!!

I considered making them scrub the toilet with their new light up toothbrushes. Perhaps we could make them stay in their beds for a solid 72 hours. What about licking the floors clean? These all crossed my mind.

When it came down to it, I figured they just had to undo what they did wrong. The entire afternoon was spent vacuuming  washing sticky toys and mopping floors, erasing marker from the couch (it actually works!!!) and scrubbing the wooden rocking chair clean.

Then, straight to bed after dinner. No songs, no books, nothing. Lights out boring bedtime.

My children are not perfect, but they've not gotten this crazy before. I was thrown off! So much so, that I had to talk to Dan to figure out what to do with them. I just felt like laughing and asking them "ok, who came in and did all this?". I know they are capable of such disobedience, it's just a shock the first time this happens to you as a mama. Similar to the day your toddler throws their first fit. "Where did my sweet baby go?" you ask yourself.

Thankfully, my boys were back to normal the next day and I couldn't be more relieved.

Three Stages of Adjustment

We've had baby J for three weeks now and life is feeling normal again. This being our third placement, I'm realizing some patterns of adjustment that happen with each one. The kids only take about 3 days to get used to a new person in the house. A week goes by and the boys no longer wake up when the baby cries in the middle of the night. I'm so thankful for flexible children!!

Myself, well, I'm a different story. This is how I personally adjust to each placement:

Week 1 : CRYING. 

When I see the child for the first time, my heart overflows with love, compassion and a sudden need to protect them. This was especially the case with baby J, because I met him on day 4 of his little life, and in the NICU no less. As I learn about his story and why he came into care, my heart can barely take it. I cry at night, I cry when I'm feeding him, I cry when I talk to people about him. It's uncontrollable.

Week 2 : Don't forget the baby! 

We've never actually forgotten a foster child anywhere, but there is that strange moment of "wait, we need to bring more stuff with us, right? Ok, diapers, bottles, wow. We have a baby again!". It's very different from waiting 9 months for a baby's arrival. With fostering, you literally have hours to prepare yourself for the new placement and it's hard to wrap your mind around it. Once baby J came home to us, I had to make so many mental notes to take care of him and not forget anything! Dan and I hear him crying at night and say "baby's crying.... OH, THE baby is crying! We've got to feed him!".

Week 3 : A new normal.

The diaper bag is constantly updated and re-stocked. I know baby J's cries, his schedules and his needs. I feel comfortable feeding him while breaking up a fight between my older two. It's all normal stuff to us now and we're back to regular life activities. Week 3 feels so so good!!

It does take time to adjust my expectations for myself as a mother, wife and friend. Especially having a newborn placement, it's been difficult for me to be at home more often. Spontaneity is back out the window and the loneliness creeps in. With time, my confidence grows and the stress subsides and things are calm. I'm definitely looking forward to warmer weather, though! The older boys are starting to get rowdy!

The End of an Era

While Lazzy was sick last week, he couldn't suck his thumb because of his swollen throat and mouth. We all thought it was temporary, but as the sickness continued, the thumb continued to get the boot. As he began to heal, I thought "ok, the thumb is coming back. It has to!" but it never did! I even asked Laz if he wanted to suck his thumb at nap time, and he answered "all d-done, d-dum.". WHAT??? I wasn't ready for him to let go of such an important little finger!*

I loved that thumb. It gave me 2 years and 2 months of uninterrupted sleep. It gave me peaceful plane rides and quiet time in the car. That thumb was my saving grace. 

I know people often push the paci for fear of their children sucking their thumbs until they're 15. I never worried about getting Laz to quit. I figured he'd stop when he was ready and I didn't care when that was, but.....now I do! I care. It's too soon. I want the thumb.

Alas, he's said goodbye and now, so must I.

*This dramatic sentimental post was brought to you by my alter-ego which apparently wants triplet girls since my boys are becoming men over night. Someone give me a baby, pronto!

When They Need You

Poor Lazzy was sick all week. He had his first sick doctor's visit and practically slept through the entire thing. I've been comforting him in his pain and nursing him back to health.

My boys need me. They don't always know it, but it's true. There's the obvious laundry, cooking, educating, counseling, comforting and remembering small details like where the light blue 1 inch monster truck is hiding (somehow I always know where their toys are!). There are also the hidden ways I love and help them. I can turn tears into giggles and fears into strength. Well, not always.

Taking care of my boys on a daily basis wears me out, but it's manageable. For the most part, I know what to expect. But when my boys are sick, it throws me off my game. My organized schedule goes out the window. I drop everything so I can be available to them at a moment's notice. It's kind of like snow, or the power going out. Everything freezes and all that matters is the people nearest to you.

It's been a strange week but one filled with lots of cuddles and reading books. It was a hard week, but one filled with love. Still, I'm looking forward to getting my little Lazarus back!

God Made ME!

Our charming four year old has been very interested in human reproduction lately. I guess you can't blame him with all the pregnancy and childbirth books we have lying around the house, not to mention all the labor and birth conversations he probably overhears during his play dates! Then there's the added readings and talks of a virgin named Mary who conceived Jesus without ever having been with a man. He's trying to wrap his mind around it, and it's hard!

I'm having a lot of fun explaining things to his spongy little mind. He's curious and ready to learn, so we give answers. As we talk about sex, babies and life, Elijah doesn't hesitate to remind me that it's really GOD who makes people. Wow, is he right! I often forget the miracle it takes for cells to come together at the right time, to work together and grow into more cells which become intricate little people with personalities, gifts, dreams and callings. Really, everything God makes is an absolute miracle, and He does it all for His glory. Whether we notice it or not, He's creating because He can. He delights in it.

I came across these amazing pictures of snow flakes taken by Russian photographer Andrew Osokin.

As the boys and I oohed and ahhed over each snow flake, I remembered that the same God who made these perfect little things made me, too! I am just as unique, just as intricate and just as fragile. I loved sharing this with Elijah and Lazarus. In understanding creation as pure glory for God, they understand who they are and why they were made. There is so much in creation that our eyes will never see, but that doesn't take away it's significance. God sees. God cares. He knows.

In fact, He is such a caring, seeing and knowing God that He left his home, became a refugee's child in a politically unstable time in history to show such love to His creation. If I do everything else wrong as a mother, I hope I at least teach my boys about this one amazing truth.

Merry Christmas!! May God bless you today with the truth of HIS love and sacrifice for you, his treasured creation, the joy of His very heart!

Taking Back Christmas

I've always known that I wanted Christmas to stand out to my kids. I want them to believe in the REAL miracle, not sell them a fake one. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that Santa is of the devil or anything. I grew up with Santa, and I LOVED every bit of it. My mom is a thoughtful giver, I honestly don't think she could help herself! 

(last year's loot!)

I also didn't have a problem trusting my parents later in life, at least I don't think so, ha! Still, I find it strange that as Christians, we spend so much time, money and effort building up a lie about Christmas when we could be spending all that energy building up the truth!

Now that my children are old enough to notice, it's getting harder and harder to be intentional. I recently read this blog post which helped me re-prioritize and make a plan for how our family will celebrate this season year after year. Because I am a giver (like my mom!), I already bought too much stuff for the boys. None of it was expensive, in fact much of it is thrifted (even the brand new packages of Color Wonder I found at Goodwill!). Still, I'm afraid it's the amount of stuff that will cloud the beautiful picture of our God coming down to our level to save us. It's important to me that we celebrate the truth, yes with gifts but always with the focus of Christ.

Dan and I have talked a lot about what kind of traditions we want to have with our little family. Neither of us are sentimental, so we struggle with sticking to the same plan every year. Still, there are things we find important and so will strive to do them each year, in hopes that Christ will be communicated to our children, not greed and a made up character.

From now on, we will at least do the following:

- Advent reading schedule with our Jesus Storybook Bible
- The 4 presents rule from the above blog post: something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. (all the extras I bought this year will be saved until birthdays)
- Stockings are reserved for stickers, glow sticks, oranges and tooth brushes. No big gift cards or loaded with chocolate.
- Christmas tree bought from boy scout troop lot (this one is Dan's new tradition)
- Enjoy EVENT traditions (decorating tree, driving around looking at Christmas lights, volunteering, singing carols, etc.)
-Give a family gift through Compassion's Gift Catalog

If you'd like to educate your child on the history of Santa Claus, the real St. Nicholas and other Christmas traditions, I recommend these short videos through the History channel.

What traditions do you keep each year with your family? Advent calendars? Jesse trees? Countdowns? I am open to suggestions and ideas. There are so many good ones out there!!

Am I a Mommy Blogger??

I am a mom who has a blog, but does that make me a mommy blogger? To me, a mommy blogger is someone who yes, has kids, but also blogs with amazing DIY Halloween costume ideas, toddler projects and posts regular recipes with only mashed bananas and applesauce as sweeteners. I guess I'm the mommy blogger who reads those blogs and then posts pics of my boys attempting said toddler projects. And hey, I'm totally fine with that!!

Painting with glitter glue and coloring with Bingo markers, all from the $1 store!

Bathtub pain = $1 store shaving cream and food coloring!

Sometimes, Elijah practices blowing up balloons. It's the only time I will get a few minutes of silence out of him!

I've been feeling pretty lazy as a mom lately. Not sure what it is, but let's just say my four year old has quite the attitude problem, most likely because I've been somewhere else mentally. I've can become too task oriented in the evenings and that leaves my boys aggravated and sensitive. SO, I made a recent trip to the $1 store for some craft supplies and have declared afternoons to be "Fun hands on mommy/kid craft time!!! Let's get filthy!" Sometimes we bake, sometimes we glue and sometimes we paint the bathtub red. It's been a blast and I've enjoyed the mess and the conversation. Elijah has been doing much better emotionally as well. I think quality time is his love language. I can't forget that!

And now for a mommy blog link hop! Here are my most recent favs out there in the blogosphere :

No-Bake Energy Bites!

100 Things to Buy (and USE for toddler play!) from the Dollar Tree along with project ideas!

Free Your Mind Glitter Jar (or as we call it, the Focus Jar)

Pumpkin Muffins (I put walnuts, dried cranberries and flax seed in them...very good and very healthy!)

Make Your Own SLIME (only 2 ingredients!)

Healthy Toddler Veggie Snack

Seen these posts before? Do you have any cool projects or recipes you've tried recently? Do you have an amazing mommy blog that I can start stalking?

Do Your Kids Make You Cry?

Seriously, do they? Mine do!!

It's rare, as I only cry about once every 3 months, but my kids definitely brought me to a place of tears the other day. It was the constant arguing, cries from another room because one particular boy was just. being. mean. On and on and on, the typical "I don't want to..." bratty phrases, all in the background while I'm trying to provide fun activities and healthy food for these rascals. Being yelled at by a cave man stuck in a 2 yr old's body to get off the potty ("dah! no! me pot pot!!") is what pushed me over the edge.

In some ways, my kids are like bullies. They push and push and push your buttons until you crack. I used to think it was a mother's job to always be gentle, kind and patient. Now I know that it's more important to be honest (with a filter of course). Children need to know that their parents are human. We have a great opportunity to graciously teach them how to apologize and accept forgiveness.

The other day, Dan walked in just as I was setting the table for two particularly naughty boys. Dan caught my eyes and I teared up and said "the boys are being SO mean to me today." and went to my room for a cry. After a few minutes, they all came in and covered me with kisses and affection and "mom, your the best. we love you! thanks for dinner!". See?? If I had held it together, my little guys would have continued to grow into grade A brats. Thanks to my sweet husband, they were taught how to dry a lady's tears.

These two little people are certainly not perfect, but I SO enjoy spending time with them, even when they make me cry.

Someone's got to teach them that women can be sensitive. It might as well be their mother.

Boys Will Be Boys

Disclaimer - I'm opinionated. I'm also wrong most of the time. My ideas change constantly, but this is how I'm currently feeling about being a mother of boys. 

With that said, Americans are too tolerant! Parents are lacking their much needed back bones when it comes to raising children. I constantly hear "Boys will be boys" or "girls will be girls" meaning "Well, she wants to wear a bikini to school and demands to be called princess at all times, what can I do? She's a girl?" or "He broke all our dishes and runs through the house like a banshee...boys will be boys!".

AHHH!!!! Parents, we are not victims. We are in charge!!

As a mother of two active boys, I am constantly reworking my thoughts on how to raise these tiny humans. SURE, they need a physical outlet and yes, they LOVE anything that shoots, BUT we are their parents! We can decide how quickly we rush through each stage of boyhood. We can keep some things away for a time until they are older. Heck, we can say "NO" if we want to. 

Dan and I have had conversations about guns and video games since Elijah was born. We do not see eye to eye on these things, but have decided they can do most anything, just on other people's turf. I know, it's pretty oposite of what most other parents say, but it comes down to the fact that I do NOT like guns and we cannot afford a video game obsession. If the boys want to shoot some cans with uncle Jesse, that's great! He's a very responsible teacher and would be a great mentor to the boys in that area (and others as well!). If the boys want to stay up all night playing video games, awesome! Do it at someone else's house on their big screen TV because we just can't afford all the gadgets.

In the mean time, we love providing our boys with an outlet, a way for them to just. be. boys. You can keep your kids active by including them in daily activities like washing dishes and have them help with the cooking or yard work. They don't know it's a chore yet, so take advantage!! It's a great way to spend time together while also working their little hands and their brains.

We've also found that foam swords are a huge hit in our house (pun intended. now you know how funny i am.). We create an entire scene where the girls or I are in trouble and we need a protector! The boys loves playing out the story and adding to the details and building characters with accents and everything.

We've also gotten into Imaginext and Rescue Heroes. These toys/shows are great because the bad guy is always a natural disaster and the guys have to work together as a team (instead of one guy being the best with freaky evil vilans).

We also recently got a punching bag. The boys beat it up, jump on it and throw it at each other. It's the perfect way to get out aggression without hurting anyone at all!

Boys will be boys and they need to be rough and tumble every day or they will never fall asleep at night.  I just think sometimes parents allow a little too much too fast. These boys are first our babies and so need to be carefully brought up so they can someday be respectful loving men.

You Don't Know What You've Got Till You Get More

I came across an old blog post about how having two kids was kicking my butt. Wow! I laughed.

That's not to play down mothers of two children. Truth is, it IS hard! Suddenly, your time and attention are split in half and it takes some adjusting. Going from two to four, on the other hand, is a serious slap in the face. Sure, we got used to it, but I don't think I sat down for 7 weeks straight unless I was driving the car.

I've been in Indianapolis this weekend visiting my sister and her adorable family. It's just me and the boys. Easy peasy. Strange how the same job can feel so much easier with just a slightly different perspective. I have enjoyed spending more time with our boys and pouring all my energy into them. Having the girls for a while and then letting them go really opened my eyes to how wonderful we have it. Our boys are strong and healthy. They are growing and learning without delays.

It's crazy, but I didn't really know what we had until we had more. Now that the girls are gone, I feel like I can see my boys for the sweet funny little people that they are and I'm absolutely falling in love all over again.

My Baby is Back

The girls weren't gone 24 hours yet, but Lazarus had no problem reclaiming his position as baby in the family.  I've never seen him act like such a baby before! Suddenly, he needed his mama like he needs air. The boy would not stay off my person! We ended up napping together, because, well, it's so cozy! Plus, I was enjoying the new freedom I had to just lay around and cuddle my little boy. It was wonderful, but it brought on even more attachment problems.

Bed time rolled around and he literally begged to sleep in my bed. I said "no" of course and I put him in his bed with the door shut (which he can't open...is that cruel? i mean, his brother can open it if needed...ok we just realllly needed space!). Dan and I just couldn't wait to sleep through the night and actually wake up at a decent morning hour. All we asked for was 6am or later people! 

He cried at the door. It was the longest 3 minutes and 47 seconds of my life. Then, silence. I figured he'd given up and went to cuddle his blankie in his own totally hip bunk bed, fitted with Ikea bedding. A two year old should want that over his mama's bed, right?

When I came in much later to check on his position, the door wouldn't open but an inch. Come to find out, he'd been here all along:

Thankfully, it only took the one night to break him and he's happily sleeping in his own bed now, but man, that was adorable. And sad. But mostly adorable!

On Being THAT Mom

My day began at 2am when I got called to a birth....It was a false alarm. Note to all you pregnant ladies out there, if you're still talking during contractions while eating strawberries, it's probably not the real deal. Almost every first time mom is guilty of this. I know I was!

Anyway, I slept for 2 more hours before my Sunday really picked up. We managed to get to church despite a certain angsty four year old, two particularly cranky tots and one tired baby. Our big boy cried his way through all of worship, making Dan late to teach the youth Sunday school. What's worse is I had to climb a bazzillion stairs (with a sleeping baby in the sling) trying to sort each child out in their respective places for the morning. Even worse, Elijah never did give us a reason for his fit. I guess he was overdue seeing as how it had been 24 since his last freak out session..

Eventually, Eli settled down, the tots played in the nursery and I had the eldest and the baby with me during the sermon (proving my earlier point about middle children!). I sat in the very back, rolled out our travel car mat and called it good. About 3 minutes into the sermon, I was distracted by a shocking realization :  I am THAT mom, sitting in the back while her kids played with toys. DURING CHURCH!

NO! This can't be me! How did this happen? My children will participate. My children will listen and pray along with the adults because they've been trained to do so, and they will love it! My children won't need to read the words on the big screen because they've memorized every word to every worship song, in their various different languages (we attend a multi-lingual church)!

Well, it happened and I got over it as soon as I saw Elijah and baby girl whisper giggling to each other on the floor together while God's word echoed throughout the sanctuary. Elijah got to learn more about communion and I was ministered to in the midst of a hectic day.

I ended up seeing another client that afternoon....yup. another false alarm. At least I got to sit in church though!

Top 10 - Ways to Love and Serve the Orphaned and Neglected

Every day in Missouri:

• 4 children are sexually abused 

• 16 babies are born at low birth weight 

• 21 children enter foster or residential care 

• 24 teenagers give birth 

• 164 children are found to be abused or neglected 

• 129 law violation referrals are made to juvenile courts 

• 128 calls are made to the Child Abuse Hotline 

• 252,485 children live in poverty

The statistics above are shocking. After reading them for the first time, my heart sank. It wasn't until I started talking with other foster and adoptive families that I realized this: Dan and I do not have to wait until we move back to Africa to serve and care for orphans. I know this to be true and Dan and I do support and give to organizations that care for orphans, but I never felt compelled to do anything here in St. Louis. I am so grateful for the individuals who have shared their stories and encouraged us through the fostering process so far.

Hopefully, more people will trust in God's strength and not let fear hold them back from changing the lives of these little ones. Sometimes you just don't know where to begin because it's so overwhelming! To get you started, here are my Top 10 ways to love and serve the orphaned and neglected children across the world:

10. Give Financially. This is probably the easiest way to support orphans. There are so many people out there who spend their lives physically caring for orphans, but they need your resources. Not everyone feels called to adopt or start an orphanage in Peru. BUT, everyone has money they could give instead of splurging on that extra frozen coffee. Their are countless organizations, but the ones below are those that I personally support.

• Children of the Nations
• Compassion International
• Ministry of Hope

9. Visit them! You know the group your church is sending to South America in 8 months? Consider going! Many people think that the money for air fare is better spent on diapers for the orphans, but I believe that a physical connection is worth something, too. The volunteers are greatly encouraged by short term teams and the babies never get enough hugs!! 

 

You can visit the links above for info about visiting children across the world, but you don't always have to get on a plane to visit orphans. Did you know there is a crisis nursery here in St. Louis?? I'm sure there is one in every city.

8. Volunteer. There are crisis nurseries all of the U.S. You could sign up to be a Big Brother or Sister. You could also volunteer to work in a crisis pregnancy center to educate and support women who choose to keep their babies in unplanned pregnancies. There are so many ways to support and love children in your community who are orphaned, neglected or in danger of becoming so.


7. Sponsor an orphan!  I mentioned Compassion International above. They are one of many organizations where you can sponsor a child and send them to school.

6. Throw a baby shower!  If you know someone who is adopting, offer to throw a shower. Families who adopt need baby gear, too! You can either do it before they get placed or afterwards if the gender/age is unknown. Showers are a great way to celebrate a growing family and show your support and encouragement to families who adopt and foster.


5. Babysit for foster/adoptive families. We had to take a 9 week long class to become foster parents and needed a lot of babysitting. We have amazing supportive friends who saved us lots of money by babysitting for free! If you know a family who has just acquired new kids, offer to help out somehow. Even a half hour can give parents the break they need to get through the day and be better for their children.

4. Bring a meal. Just as you would bring dinner to a family with a new baby, new foster/adoptive families want food, too!! No matter how children come into your home, it's a huge life change that takes time getting used to. One less meal for mom to make is a blessing. TRUST ME!

3. Become a foster family! Talk with people you know who have fostered before. You'll be surprised at how not-scary fostering or adopting can be! Is your church hosting an adoption seminar? Attend! It doesn't mean you have to take a kid home with you that day, but it might start a life changing process (for you and your family, not just the adopted child :).


2. Adopt! I know this is not for everyone, but I honestly believe more people need to be adopting. Many people I know have already made the decision not to adopt by saying "I don't think that's for us..." without giving it much thought. Look into it. Ask questions and seek wisdom from families who have been there before. Your heart AND situation might change.


1. Pray. Pray for specific ministries that serve orphans. Pray for families you know who are in the midst of an adoption or fostering process. Pray for God to show you how to get involved and to prepare or change your heart. God cares about these little ones!!

Am I Mom Enough...

...to foster?

While hundreds and thousands of mothers across the US spent the last few weeks debating 'who is mom enough', I've been hosting my own personal debate in my heart. As we get closer and closer (and closer still) to becoming foster parents, I question my ability to truly love a child that is not my own.

After experiencing some recent temper tantrums thrown by my now four year old (who, by the way, should be completely over his biting stage, don't ya think?), I had a few days of serious doubt. I doubted my ability to be patient and to focus on the big picture. I doubted my heart and it's capacity to love yet another little person, day in and day out.

Can I give them what they need, and sometimes sacrifice my own desires (even if it's just sacrificing the items on my to-do list) for the good of a child? Will I be able to love them so much that we drive 45 minutes out of town for visits with their family twice a month? Could I let them keep food under their beds so they feel safe and taken care of after coming from a home of neglect? Is it even possible for me to keep my cool while I have three (or even FOUR) children screaming at the same time for any number of ridiculous reasons?

{scary!!}

Forget the mommy wars, which is all about pushing our opinions on others...my war will be about letting go of my opinions so that I can make the bio mom feel comfortable with their child living in my home! Being someone else's mom means you can't just do what you think is right. You always have to take into consideration what the bio mom wants (as it applies to religion, foods, celebrations, etc.). Am I mom enough to be someone else's mom for a time and then let them go?

I want to be mom enough to accommodate them and not just say "Hey, we are the Robbins. This is the way we do things around here, so jump in or jump out". 

I have no idea what this job will ask of me except simply, a willing heart. I am willing to try to love the kids under my roof and I'm more than willing to say sorry when I fail. Hopefully, that will be enough.