Kids DO Say the Darndest Things!

I came across an old post from our Robbins Abroad blog and just had to share it here. When I taught preschool in Malawi, I got to spend my days with 21 four and five year olds. As you can imagine, there was never a dull moment. On Monday mornings, would all sit together and chat about our weekends. I don't think a single child told me the truth about their weekends, but instead, they made up elaborate stories about traveling to America and seeing sharks in Lake Malawi.

If you're in need of a good laugh, check out these hilarious quotes from my teeny tiny students with the biggest imaginations!

RANDOM FUNNY THINGS:

"Everything I make looks like a boy...all the things I make look like boys" Samantha age 4 (referring to her art work)

"Mr Owen, can you go get me my left handed glue?" Bess age 5 (she is left handed, and often asks us for her left handed scissors. Apparently, she thinks she has special glue too!)

"Her doesn't have girls. Becka is my friend. Her has many big boys, much bigger than me, and they go to school." Louisa age 5 (She was talking about her friend Becka who has older brothers)

"When my mom was thin, she was Princess Diana" Merunisa age 5 ( I have NO idea where this one came from!)

"When I went to a party, auntie Laura's party, jelly jelly jelly is food. Yes, we ate it at the party. I went home to sleep. I provoked myself" Daniella age 5 (Again, I have NO idea what she was talking about!)

"When I was a baby, my mom was going somewhere and I was staying at home waiting for her. When she was little, I was also her mother" Daniella (the same Daniella as above)

"You know what Mr. Owen? When I was 4 yrs old, I was 3 yrs old. Can you imagine?" Jon age 5

"We saw that at Shoprite, but it was too baspensive, so we couldn't buy it" Louisa (She was referring to the soap we had at our sink in our classroom)

"By fesians you've been saved" Malaika age 5 (She was trying to recite our memory verse which was Ephesians 2:8 "By grace you have been saved)

"I like ice cream, and my daddy is fat!" Aaliyah age 4

"I do not like cheese. It is not delicious to my mouth. My mouth cannot eat cheese" Samantha

"My daddy says if someone hits my sister, I will karate him" Daniella

-----Conversations among themselves:
"When I grow up, I will go with Sam" Louisa age 5
"No, I'm already going with Sydney" Sam age 4 (Sydney is his sister)
"You can't go with your sister!" Robyn age 5
"No, why don't you go with me Sam?" Louisa
"If you marry your sister, you will have an ogre baby!" Robyn

-----
"Where is Germany?" Mr. Owen (our class assistant)
"It's very near Mr. Owen, you go across the lake or even walk but you need a bottle of water." Jon age 5
"It's at my house!" Louis (she says this because she is German)
"If Malawi is here, then German is in Lilongwe" Nathan age 5


WEEKEND STORIES:

"I went to South Africa and saw a shark and was fishing!" Merunisa age 5

"I went to America!" Samantha age 4

"On mother's day, I made some cake for my mom and I go to the lake and I didn't see anybody, but I saw my sister. I didn't find my card because I loose it to my house. My mommy is sick. I bake her a cake. There was a party for my mom." Samantha age 4

"I went to the hospital and they took my skin, because I fell down" Nathan age 5

"I went to eat at the place with the Jeep blue" Carey age 5

"I went somewhere else, then I go to Mozambique to see my other sister, Alex. It took 5 weeks, maybe to get there. It was too long." Daniella