It's not the packing that stresses me out. It's not the 14 day road trip with two children and one growing and kicking in my belly. It's not even the finances-we'll charge it all and pay it off with Dan's new job, woo hoo!!
What I'm overwhelmed by is the life we are driving toward. For the last four years, I've been comfortable in my seminary-wife skin. Sure, it's been intimidating at times and I've embarrassed myself around the table with a few scholars. But it was okay. Seminary was a safe place to be wrong and to ask questions. It was a safe place for us to be a mess, to fail at parenting and to go to marriage counseling. Dan was a student. We were here to learn and learn we did!
In 3 weeks, we drive away from this sweet little city as the Robbins family, but somewhere between the Mississippi River and Yellowstone Park, the titles will change. Dan will be "pastor Dan". Bethany will be "the pastor's wife". My kids will be called "pastor's kids" and others will extend a certain sympathy toward them because of that.
I'm afraid of being someone that people look up to. I'm afraid I'll give the wrong advice or answers. I'm afraid of holding Dan back with my own issues and needs.
BUT!!!
I'm so excited to make new friends. I'm excited to love on people and walk through life with them, to share our struggles and hurts and to celebrate our joys together. I'm thankful we are working for a humble church which focuses on grace, because we all need a lot of that!!
Moving and a new baby are nothing. Been there, done that and I know what to do. Transitioning from student to teacher/teacher's wife? That will be a challenge. Thankfully, we can trust in God for all we need.s
I'm a youth pastor's wife. I hear ya. The hardest part isn't that people look up to you. It's the loneliness. The tension between being in community with people and yet not being able to talk about all of the things you struggle with. Like how frustrated you are with them, how hurt you are at something they said to/ about your husband, etc. :) The being expected to pray at the Mother/Daughter Banquet stuff is easy. It's the biting my tongue and having my support system also be the cause of my hurt/frustration that gets me. I hope you are able to connect with other pastor wives that get it and can encourage you!
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