Roller Coaster Weekend

This weekend has been a roller coaster ride! It all began Thursday afternoon when a phone call interrupted my nap (my first in weeks, so very very special). It was about a potential foster placement.

{What? It's been so long since our last placement, I kind of forgot we did that crazy thing!}

I barely heard what the poor lady said but I was able to mumble out "uh, I'll talk with my husband and call you right back." It wasn't until I talked with Dan that I realized this placement was for a newborn BOY.

The back story of all this is, well, to put it simply - I WANT A DAUGHTER!!! Okay, I said it here on the blog. Judge away.

Honestly, I love my boys more than life itself. I've been surprised by how fun life is with two boys. BUT, I have longed for a daughter in my life. I have two dear sisters whom I can't live without and my relationship with mom would make you pretty jealous. I want that with my children, too!

Over the last 6 months though, God has been changing my heart on this issue. As Dan and I discuss adoption and having more children, I've begun to imagine myself as a mother of all boys. Not only have I come to terms with that possibility, but I actually get excited about it.

SO, here's where our next foster placement comes in. 

Y'all, HE has stolen. my. heart!!!!

He was born just a few days ago but hasn't yet been released from the hospital due to jaundice. We have spent the weekend dropping kids off with friends so we can spend time with our newest little guy in the NICU. Every time I see him, my heart skips a beat and I cry when I leave him. I want to study his face, all his thick dark hair and the fuzz on his shoulders. He's so fresh. So new and fragile. My heart aches to protect him from all the bad that surrounds him.

As always, we have NO idea what the future holds but I'm surrendering myself to God's plan. I've know Him long enough to know that HE is ALWAYS right. ALWAYS!

I cannot believe it, but I've fallen in love with yet another baby boy and now I know for sure that God's plan for our family (whether they stay forever or only for a while) is absolutely what I need. Hopefully, we'll be bringing baby boy home tomorrow. Time to put away the pink and bring out the blues!