Toddlers say the darndest things

Context : Eli was being particularly bossy one day. I had had enough and decided to lay it all out for him. Surely, once Elijah knew he was at the bottom of the totem pole, he'd let up a little bit.

Me: "Hey mister, you don't get to be the boss of me. God is the boss of me, I'm the boss of you and Lazzy, and you can be the boss of Doggie."

Eli: "Yeah, and we could be the boss of Lazzy together!"

Me: "Um, nope. I can handle it, thanks. You are only the boss of Doggie."

Context : Speaking of Elijah being the boss of doggie, I have come up with a new parenting technique! Let your kid have some control!!! Well, it may not be new to the rest of the world, but it's new to me! Of course, we give Eli choices when it's appropriate, but now, he is actually in charge of Doggie (his side kick randomly purchased by my mother from Kohls and dearly loved by Eli). If Elijah has trouble obeying, I remind him that Doggie needs to obey, too.

Me: "Elijah, I want you to get ready for bed. Go brush your teeth, go potty and wash your hands. I'll meet you in your bedroom, okay?"

Eli: "NO! I want to play last TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!"

Me: "Oh wow...that's not ok. You need to say 'sorry mama for shouting' and then get Doggie. Take him with you and make sure he does everything he needs to do before going to bed."

Eli: "Doggie-it's time for bed, no fuss! Obey me Doggie. Say 'Yes Ewijah' "

Doggie: "Yes Ewijah"

WORKS EVERY TIME