Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Heartbroken yet hopeful

Elijah flat out lied to me for the first time tonight. I had left him on my bed with our computer for one minute. While I was in the kitchen grabbing water, I heard typing. When Eli is doing something he KNOWS is wrong, I usually ask him if it's okay instead of just telling him "Hey, that's not okay!". I feel like it helps him to remember the rules and feel convicted about disobeying instead of just being bossed around. So, like usual, I asked him "Eli, are you supposed to be touching the computer?". He responded with a sweet little "huh-uh". When I came back to my bedroom, the screen proved that typing had occured while I was away. I asked him "did you type on the computer?" and he answered "No mama, I not type" in the most innocent little voice.


My heart sank. There it was. My child's first lie (at least to my knowledge). My adorable little two year old sat there, looked me in the eye and decided to tell a lie. My eyes watered as I spanked him and explained to him why he was getting disciplined. I told him that he should always tell me the truth, even if he knows he did something wrong and is afraid of getting discipline. We talked about how discipline is something I have to do when he disobeys, but that I still love him so so much. I said "I'm so sorry that you disobeyed and lied about it and that I had to give you a double spank. It makes me so sad to do that, but it's what I have to do." We cried a little bit together and while my heart was still aching, he looked at me and said "I disobey. I got a spank. You're da mama. You got the milks!"

Well, I'm not sure if he really understood our little talk about obeying and telling the truth. I know he was sad, but he seemed to have gotten over it pretty quickly. I guess that's a good thing. Dwelling on our sin can only lead to discouragement. God wants us to repent and change our ways, resting in His love. He is SO gracious and forgiving even when we knowingly sin against Him. It grieves God when we turn away from him just as it hurt me tonight when my child turned from me. Thankfully, God has a remedy. I can do nothing for Elijah's heart but my God has already done it. I love Christmas time where I get to celebrate the coming of Christ. It is truly the most important thing that has ever happened to me-Christ coming and taking my punishment. I was reminded of that tonight.

Tonight, I had to punish Elijah in order to teach him and guide him in his little life. I am so glad that he doesn't have to endure the ultimate punishment for all of his sins. It's been done. Christ did it for him.


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